Jar of Hearts
by KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov
Summary: Dimitri leaves after the events of shadow kissed; rose saved him, hurting herself, leaving her in a coma. Dimitri chooses to leave, saying love fades, mine has. Rose is left broken and depressed. A surprise lurks round the corner, but what happens when Tasha appears crying for help because Dimitri is missing? This is Rose's jar of hearts. *RM owns all that you remember* Review, F
1. Chapter 1

JAR OF HEARTS

**Synopsis: **

Dimitri leaves after the events of shadow kissed. Rose saved Dimitri from the strigoi, hurting herself in the process, left in a coma for days, Dimitri makes the decision to leave her for Tasha Ozera. Saying _Love fades, mine has._ This leaves Rose broken and depressed. A surprise lurks round the corner and what happens when Tasha comes to the academy crying for help because Dimitri is missing?

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **CHAPTER 1** ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Dimitri_

Why won't she wake up? It's been eight days and she- my Roza- has not twitched, blinked or sighed. Eight days since our amazing night in the cabin. Eight days since she barrelled down the cave to save me.

_(Flash back)_

_The blonde strigoi was looming over me, I felt as he reached for my neck. I closed my eyes and waited for him to bite; but then I heard the soft thumping noise of someone running towards me. I opened my eyes and saw her running towards me._

"_Get away from him!" she yelled. The strigoi was next to her in an instant and had her in his grips, ready to break her neck; before I could react he was drinking from her. I just stared. _

"_I love you Dimitri" she whispered as her eyes closed. I_ _heard more thumping and was bought out of my trance and attacked the strigoi, staking him in the heart, he dropped her as he fell with a thud to the ground. I reached to grab her. _

"_I love you to Roza" I whispered, kissing her on her forehead, just as her mother, Alberta and Stan came running round the corner, they all had gasped..._

_(End Flashback)_

So I have been sitting the infirmary, staring at the white walls for eight days, waiting for my love to wake up. The Doctor doesn't know why and the princess has tried to heal her, but she still didn't respond. Her mother has been trying to kill me this entire time. Every time she visits her daughter she stares at me venomously, but I just ignore her. I don't know why they allow me in the room but they do.

"Roz-Rose, please wake up, please. I can't explain without you my love, please." I plead for the hundredth time, but again she does not respond.

_Rose_

"I love you to Roza" I hear Dimitri whisper, as I feel my body lose consciousness. I try to move, I try to wake, but nothing. All I see is memories? Nightmare? The truth?

_I never saved him! My mind screeches as I see his red eyes fill my mind. One minute I am at the academy, the next I am in Russia, talking to his family, I don't know how I know it's his family, but they look like him, so it must be them! They are crying as I tell them something. Next thing I know I am following one of them to a club or somewhere, and then we are yelling at each other. I am then taken by someone- no something, and then I am looking in to his crimson red eyes as he uses me. Next thing I know I am standing on a bridge stabbing him as he falls into the water below. Subsequently I am back at the academy, reading a letter, signed love D._

Wait What? I killed him didn't I?

_Then I – we, Lissa is helping- as we break some man out of Tarasov. Lissa is holding a stake, her eyes are closed and I watch as she pours her spirit into it. _My mind blacks.

"Roz-Rose, please wake up, please. I can't explain without you my love, please." Dimitri's words scatter through my mind, explain, explain what? He's dead, he's a strigoi! Who is playing this trick on me? My mind closes off the sound as this nightmare movie continues...

_Lissa is standing over him, holding a stake and stabs down into his heart, killing him? I watch as his eyes turn back to their melt worthy chocolate._

I wake up screaming.

_Dimitri_

I wake up to someone screaming. It's Rose. I jump up and go to her. Her eyes are wide with terror and she is thrashing about.

"Rose?" I ask quietly, she looks at me, turning her head to the side, and then screams louder.

"Guardian Belikov, please can you give us a moment?" the nurse asks quietly. I nod glumly, what did I do, for her to scream like that at me? I walk out to the hallway, and slide down the wall, I put my head in my hands and cry. Everything from the last few days comes crashing back down around me.

"Guardian Bel- Dimitri, what happened?" Guardian Petrov asks me quietly minutes later.

"She woke up screaming; she looked at me like I was a monster and screamed louder. I don't understand, we love each other, what did I do?" I ask as I begin to shake. She doesn't reply straight away.

"I'm sorry, I don't-" before Alberta is able to finish her sentence, the nurse, who asked me to leave, comes out of the room; I look up at her in desperation.

"She is asking for you." She says simply. I nod and stand up, wiping my eyes. I open the door and see that she has calmed down. I stand at the door hesitant to go inside.

_Rose_

Dimitri walks in and the first things I look at are his amazing brown eyes, deep chocolate brown. I know it's him but my mind can't erase seeing him with the blood red eyes of the un dead. I feel as the tears trickle down my cheek.

He slowly and cautiously walks over to me and reaches for my hand, at his touch I flinch. He looks at me pained, and goes to remove his hand. But I hold it tighter pleadingly as I feel the warmth of his hand coarse through me.

"Roza, what's the matter?" he asked softly. I shudder as the images of him drinking my blood and him being a strigoi.

"You, you were a strigoi." I say quietly, he turns his head on its side questioningly.

"Rose, I am right here, I am not a strigoi, you saved me" he says, I flinch and begin to sob harder.

"no, you were a strigoi, you drank my blood, you wanted to kill me, but you didn't then I staked you, but you didn't die, then Lissa staked you!" I sob harder and louder. "you had bright crimson eyes Dimitri, you were a strigoi and you used me!" he flinches at my words and his eyes are bigger then ever in pain. "You wanted to kill me Dimitri, so I had to kill you." I cry harder. "So now I don't understand why or how you are here now!" I cry, I can feel it in my heart that what I say isn't the truth, but my mind says otherwise, I watch in horror as my love, is overcome by pain and water wells in his eyes and free falls down his face.

"Roza, I don't know what you are talking about. You have been unconscious for eight and a half days. You rescued me from a strigoi; there was a fight at the school and you came and saved me. We were at the cabin, and the wards were broken so you went to warn others while I fought." I know what he says is the truth but, I can't believe it. "You then saved me from the strigoi, but he attacked you." He says quietly.

~~*~~~*~~3 Days Later~~*~~~*~~

_Rose_

I was let out of the infirmary a day later. Dimitri and I spent ages talking and I realised he was right, the images I had seen were a nightmare, they never happened. But every time we touched I flinched, every time we were close I shuddered, I was scared of the love of my life.

I got dressed for training; I dressed in my black sports bra and black workout three-quarters. I brushed my hair and put it in a pony tail. I grabbed my iPod and put in my headphones as I left my dorm. I turned up the music and Avril Lavigne's 'Here's to Never growing up' burst through the headphones.

"_Singing Radiohead at the top of our lungs (Ooooooh)_

_With the boom box blaring as we're falling in love_

_I got a bottle of whatever but it's getting us drunk (wow)_

_Singing here's to never growing up (here's to never growing up)_

_We'll be running down the street yelling "kiss my ass" (kiss my ass!)_

_I'm like "yeah whatever", we're still living like that (just like that)_

_When the sun's going down we'll be raising our cups_

_Singing here's to never growing up_

_Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up_

_Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (Oh, raise your glass and say)_

_Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (Ladidadida)_

_Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up (And no, we're never growing up)_

_Oh whoa, oh whoa here's to never growing up" _

I sung the end, excited for training. I reached the gym, it was dark, no Dimitri- but that was because we weren't supposed to be training yet. I just couldn't stay in bed any longer. I stretched and warmed up. Leaving my headphones in, I went outside and hit the track.

"I need your love, I need your time, when everything's wrong, you make it right, I feel so high, I come alive, I need to be free with you tonight, I need your love!"

"And I feel so helpless here. Watch my eyes are filled with fear. Tell me, do you feel the same? Hold me in your arms again." I scream, I feel the tears start to roll down my cheeks. I know in my heart Dimitri isn't a strigoi, but the fear that he could be, is what drove the nightmare? I think about this as my iPod continues to play songs, _Every time we Touch _By Cascada, _Hold it against me _by Brittany spears, all songs about love. I finish my fifteenth lap and go inside, prepared to go to him and apologise for my irrational and crazy behaviour the last two days. But as I walk in the gym, I find him sitting there reading one of his westerns.

"Dimitriimsosorry" I say really fast, he looks at me confused, and I repeat but slower. "Dimitri I'm so sorry about the last two days. My fear for you- " he cuts me off.

"Rose I'm sorry, I'm leaving this afternoon. I can't stand here and watch you destroy yourself over me!" my eyes widen at his words.

"Your. Leaving. Me" I say hyperventilating. "Why?" I ask the tears free running down my cheeks.

"Rose, you dreamed about me being and strigoi and having to kill me, you can't be worrying about me, when you have the princess to look after." He says rationally. I go to hit him.

"Don't you love me?" I stutter.

"Of course I love – no, Rose I did love you, I can't love you, I won't love you, I don't love you." He says completely serious. I close my eyes at his revelation.

"You used me. You used my like a cheap blood whore! You told me you loved me!" I scream through the sobs. I suddenly am overcome with emotion and collapse to the floor exhausted.

"Yes I LOVED you, loved as in the past. Don't you get it Rose, Love fades, mine has!" he yells.

"You're lying!" I scream. "You said you would never hurt me, you're a liar! I hate you Dimitri, I never want to see you again, and I thought I saved you, but I was just kidding myself I was trying to save something that wasn't even there." I say as I pick myself off the floor and run out of the gym towards Lissa's room. I bang on the door and she opens it, as I stand there soaking wet all over from the sweat and tears.

"Liss, we need to talk." I say quietly. I go on to tell her everything; from the first day we meet in Portland to our numerous near misses in training, to the night in the cabin where I gave him my virginity.

"You and guardian- Dimitri- had sex!?" she yelled/ asked.

"Yes, can you keep your voice down, please?" I ask.

"Wow" she says. "Now he's leaving?" she asks. I nod and tell her about what I saw while I was unconscious. "Oh my gawd!" she screams, I smack my hand against her mouth.

"Now he says he doesn't love me, and so he's leaving, the thing is though. I realised why, I couldn't stand it if he did become a strigoi, the fear that I was unable to save him from becoming the undead was the scariest thing in my life and so I was trapped to endure, watching as the love of my life drank my blood and then watching as I had to kill him twice!" I cried. After that she just held me as I cried through the day into the night and through the following day.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 1** ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**I hope you liked the first chapter of Jar of Hearts, this is not a sing fic, but I will reference songs for a particular reason, I feel if you listen to these songs at the time of reading it will make things clearer **** Please Review, Favourite and Follow. I don't want to be an annoying author/ writer, but you guys must know how frustrating it is to write and put something up and then not get any feedback. Sp please let me know what you think, try not to be mean if you think its horrible. Anyway chapter 2 should be up within a few hours **** have a good day or night depending on where you are in the world. I am from New Zealand so it is 9:30 at night, but people on the otherside of the world are in the morning... anyway please review, favourite and follow xx**


	2. Chapter 2

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 2**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

~~*~~*~~1 Month Later~~*~~*~~

_Rose _

My headphones was blaring the song through my head. _I can't take one more step towards you, cause all that's waiting is regret. Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore? You love the love I loved the most. I learned to LIVE HALF ALIVE, and now you want me one more time... _

_And who do you think you are? Running around leaving SCARS; collecting your jar of hearts and TEARING LOVE APART. You're gonna catch a cold, from the ICE inside your SOUL, so don't come back for me. Who do you think you are? I hear you're asking all around, if I am anywhere to be found. But I have grown to STRONG to EVER fall BACK in YOUR arms..._

_And it took so long just to feel alright. Remember how to put back the light in my eyes. I WISH I had MISSED the FIRST time that WE kissed, cause you BROKE ALL your PROMISES and now you're back, you don't get to get me back... _

_SO DON'T COME BACK FOR ME!_

It's been one month or four weeks or twenty eight day or six hundred and seventy hours or forty thousand three hundred and twenty minutes or two million four hundred and nineteen thousand two hundred seconds since he left. However you look at it, he left me, alone.

Things have not been going good. I haven't been to class in that time, not really, sure I may look like I'm there but in reality I am just going through the motions, and I destroyed another punching bag yesterday, ripping my knuckles open in the process.

It's sad to think that someone I knew for like six months can do this to me, I mean I am Rose Badass Hathaway, but I have become an emotional wreck, I have resorted to punching and running and screaming.

I wake up every day at five thirty and run thirty laps, before heading to the gym where I punch and destroy the punching bags to fluff and leather. Then I head to the dummies, there is one that looks just like him, every day I stab it, hoping that the pain of his departure will leave me even for just a while.

I get up from my bed and walk to the bathroom, here I find the razor, my salvation. I pick up the thin blade, slicing from my carpula (wrist) to mid way between my humerus. The blood explodes from arm and I realise I have gone to deep as I feel light headed and slowly the world become black.

I slowly open my eyes and take in my surroundings. I am still in my bathroom, but I am covered in blood. I am use to this however. I proceed to clean myself up. Firstly I wrap my arm to stop any further blood loss. I then clean the blood from the floor and strip, chucking my clothes in a sink of cold water to soak. From here I jump into the shower and wash my long hair. Looking down at the pink water, I wonder what I am doing. How has he made me become a person who is so miserable, especially when he is off with Tasha Fucking Ozera! I get out of the shower and wrap myself in a pink towel and walk over to my bed. The only place I feel safe anymore.

_Knock, knock _"Rose, are you there? Please can I come in?" Lissa asks. Sighing I get off the bed and unlock the door.

"Hey Lissa." I say. She eyes me up and down and her eyes lock on to my bandaged arm.

"Rose" she says sighing. "It's been a month-" she begins.

"I know how long it's been ok, it's been too long. Liss my heart is breaking, every time I go to the gym, run laps, walk pass the guardians dorms I feel like another part of me is dying as I am reminded that he left me after using me. I just can't comprehend why, one minute he is saying I love you, the next he's saying love fades, mine has. Why would he hurt me this way." I say as fresh tears roll down my cheeks. She wraps her thin arms around me and holds me as I cry, just like that first night. Not saying a word. Eventually I fall asleep but I hear her whisper as I drift off.

"Rose, I have to go, but please, please don't shit yourself off from me. I need you too, I need my friend." She says quietly.

_Lissa_

I promised to meet Christian, twenty minutes ago, but Rose is far more important. I fear she will do something that I wont be able to save her from. So as I head across the eerily quiet courtyard to guardian petrov's office I know I am doing the right thing. I knock on the giant wooden door and she yells that I can come in.

"Princess Vasillissa, how can I help." She says as I take a seat.

"Please, it's Lissa, but I am here about Rose. She has lost so much weight, and just before I visited her and she had cut herself, she wouldn't let me see it, but I am sure it was deep. She's not over guardian Belikov leaving." I say, I feel that although Rose probably wouldn't want me to say anything I don't know how to help her anymore. I look around the women's office, the filled to the brim book shelf, the leather chair and wooden desk, this entire room is wooden, it's a nice office, don't get me wrong but there is a lot of wood. I look at the women with her greying hair and stress lines evident on her face as she thinks about Rose, I know she is like a daughter to the older guardian, I knew she would be the one to help me, help Rose.

"What do you mean about Guardian Belikovs departure?" she says finally.

I take a deep breath before replying. "Rose loved him, that's why she went back into the cave for him, not because he is/ was her mentor but because she is in love with him and he told her, he loved her too. Then after everything that happened he just up and left her. she feels used, abused, she longs to be fixed and I don't know how to fix her, I've tried, but everything is so sad, you've seen the punching bags and the dummy, I know you have, yet no one is helping her and I've reached my limit, I just, I just don't know how much longer she will last before she breaks and does something that will be unchangeable!" I cried. Guardian Petrov looked even more in thought after my outburst.

_Rose_

I wake to a completely dark room, alone. I look for the pills and find them. I read the label fluvoxamine and swallow eight of the little pills. " I'm sorry Liss" I fall back onto my beed waiting for death...

_Lissa_

"I'm sorry Liss" Roses voice circulates my like an echo. Wait why can I hear her? oh crap!

"Guardian Petrov, I think Rose is in trouble." I say before I get up and sprint to her room. I feel guardian Petrov following me, I run across the courtyard and up the stairs to Roses' room. I slam through the door and find her in a pool of blood, her aura is white. she is dying.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 2** ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Hey so I'm sorry if this was really hard to read, I'm not depressed... but I know people who have been and have killed themself because of it and it is not something to be taken lightly so please bare that in mind. I have decided that yes this type of story has been done planty, however all the storys are about Rose bein pregnant, then voila 2-5 years later she has a mini brown eyed, brown haired child, non that I have found focus on her struggles in the first few months without him, before she knows. However I am not saying this is a pregnant Rose story nor am I saying it isn't, I just want you to bare in mind that the first time your heart breaks you struggle because you feel broken, as most people truly feel that there is no one else and that is where Rose is at. Anyway Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night **


	3. Chapter 3

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 3**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Previously_

_I slam through the door and find her in a pool of blood, her aura is white. She is dying._

_Lissa_

I let out an air piercing scream before realising I need to help by best friend. Guardian Petrov picks her up and we rush Rose the infirmary. She looks limp and pale; I hear the gasps from other students as they come out to the hallway in search of the reason behind my scream. I look at the other students without actually seeing them. Their expressions a selection of horror, shock and fear. I try to shield Rose from the stares, but I am only one small person, so they still saw her. As we raced across the courtyard, I watched as Rose's aura got a brighter white, the amount of blood was turning it all pink.

We finally after what seemed miles reached the infirmary. Dr O was standing talking to a nurse when barged through the doors in to the waiting room. It took her a moment and a puddle of Roses blood to puddle on the floor for her to react. She led us to a formal stark white hospital room. Guardian Petrov placed her on the universal plain hospital bed. Dr O gets to work straight away, she begins by kicking us out, and despite our protests we leave to wait in the waiting room. Moments later as I am staring at the pale blue walls of the room the doors burst open as Janine Hathaway barges through them.

"Where is my daughter?" she screeches. Guardian Petrov reacts first, standing to greet the world renowned guardian.

"She is down there, Janine, it wasn't good. She was covered in blood." Guardian Petrov said on the verge of tears, she didn't dare look in the eyes of the guardian.

"Why, why would she do this to herself?" Rose's mother stuttered, in utter confusion. I watched as the women known for her expressionless facade slipped as the tears rolled down her face. I closed my eyes sending a silent apology to Rose and stood up.

"I think I know why." I say quietly. Both the guardians look at me in expectation. "Can we go to a room and talk somewhere more privately?" I ask silently, the nod and I follow them to a room.

"Princess, what's wrong with my daughter? Why would she do this to herself?" Janine asked, in a complete mess.

I take a deep breath before I start. "Rose is in love with her mentor." Both guardians display different reactions, Janine gasps at the news, while Alberta, looks almost saddened.

"After Guardian Belikov hunted us down in Portland and he started mentoring her, something in her changed. She was no longer all about the parties. Earlier today I discovered it was because she fell in love with him, and he returned those feelings. He told her, that he loved her. Then there was the attack on the school, and we all know that she went in there and rescued him. She went into save his life and she suffered because of it. Then what did he do? He left, he left her. I didn't realise until lately how much his departure affected her." I took a deep breath before I continued.

"She told me, she felt like a whore, he used her. That night the school was attacked was more than her fighting a bunch of strigoi. That night she gave her heart to a man, who days later used it against her, leaving her heart broken." I looked at the two normally composed guardians as realisation struck them.

"I think her broken heart has led her to being depressed. But what surprises me the most is that she resorted to cutting herself. The reason I say this, is because when I used to cut myself, she was almost disgusted by it. Therefore I believe the pain runs deeper, then him leaving. I think he said something to her, which caused it." I say as the blush creeps up my face, when I mention my passed discrepancies.

"I'm going to castrate that bastard!" Janine yelled. Guardian Petrov looked as if she was about to insinuate the same thing, but was interrupted by the door being opened.

"I'm so sorry, but I was told to come and inform you that, we got Miss Hathaway's respiration and pulse under control. She is still asleep; however the Doctor would like to speak to you all." She said and we followed her out to Rose's room. The Doctor looked up as we approached and walked over to us.

"Princess, Hathaway, Petrov. I have a few questions about how you found Rose." She grimaced.

"Earlier today, I came across Rose, she had a bloodied towel wrapped around her arm, so I went to Guardian Petrov-" I said before being cut off.

"The princess came to me and informed me of how she discovered Rose, with worries that she could do worse. She then said that she knew Rose was in trouble, she didn't know how, but she did. We ran across the school and discovered Rose covered in blood and the Princess stated that she was fading fast and that her aura was going white." Guardian Petrov finished for me.

"Is she okay?" I asked as I felt the tears run down my cheeks. The Doctor looked solemn

"Miss Hathaway was very close to death. She was bleeding out, however after I got that under control; she began to cough up blood. I was able to get her pulse and respiration back to normal, her blood pressure has also increased, but it is still dangerously low, about sixty over forty-eight. I am also doing some blood tests." The doctor said, before turning around to look back at Rose. I felt the tears fall faster and I was overcome with sobs. Why hadn't I been able to help my friend? I felt someone wrap their arms around my and hold me the way my mother used to. I blinked through the water and saw that Janine Hathaway was holding me.

_Janine _

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My daughter had become an emotional wreck and I like usual wasn't here to help her. For the past seventeen years, my daughter has believed that I haven't had anything to do with her or know what's happened. I've known everything from the day she through a book at her teacher and called her a fascist bastard to the day she and the princess ran away. To the day she came back. But what I didn't know was that she was in love with her mentor.

_Rose_

I don't know what came across me. After I took the pills I felt incredibly nauseous, I tried to get up to the bathroom; but I felt weak. I fell down and whacked my head on something hard ; and warm wetness trickle down my face, just as I was blacking out. Before I was fully gone I felt a thick cooper taste fill my mouth and nose. Then I was gone. My mind filled with blackness.

_Alberta _

It was so hard seeing Rose so vulnerable and broken. For the last seventeen years she has been the daughter that I never got to have. I felt she was able to come to me about anything. I like the Princess had noticed a change in Rose, but also a change in Guardian Belikov. After he left he was no longer a social recluse, he had a light in his eyes that I have seen in very few guardians.i knew something was going on with him and Rose, but now I know why, he was in love. But what I don't understand is why he left. What would drive a man in love to leave? But most of all what did he say to turn to Rose to make her become this way.

Looking around, the princess is miserable and Janine's composure has slipped. I then look at Rose, she looks so peaceful. I make a decision in an instant.

"I'll be right back." I say to no one in particular and walk out of the infirmary to a bench outside. I pull out my cell phone and dial a number, thinking about what he said the day he left.

_(Flashback)_

"_Alberta, I need to talk to you." Dimitri had said. I looked up from what I was reading at Guardian Belikov. _

"_Yes, Dimitri, please take a seat." I offered, but he continued to stand._

"_I need to leave the academy. I cannot mentor Miss Hathaway anymore. I feel she has reached all that I can teach her. But in saying that, I also cannot stay here. Miss Ozera has offered me a place to be her guardian and I am going to take it." He said, His eyes were filled of misery and regret_. it was like he wasn't endorsing what he was saying.

"_What has changed?" I asked. "Did something happen between you to? She went back into that cave for you Dimitri." I said quietly, I was feeling anger boil through me as I stared at him. But taking a closer look I realised the normally well kept guardian was scruffy; his normal neat pony tail had hair sticking up and out everywhere. And his clothes were covered in wrinkles. _

"_Exactly!" he had almost shouted, startling me. "She came back for me; she risked her life for me. I can't have her do that. I can't have her save me, ever." He said, I saw his eyes water. _

"_Well if that is how you feel Guardian Belikov, then leave. But you must tell Rose yourself." I took a breath. "Be warned however, if I find that you have hurt her in anyway, I will come after you." I promised. I didn't notice his reaction, I told him goodbye and he left without uttering another word._

_(End Flashback)_

So that is what I am doing, he hurt my 'daughter' and now I am coming after him. The phone rings three times before there is an answer.

"Belikov" the voice rang through the phone.

"What did you say to her?" I ask icily, I look around me, as dawn breaks the sky into a mixture of pinks and purples.

"What- who are you talking about?" he hesitates.

"What did you say to Rosemarie Hathaway, that has her attempting suicide?" I ask a coldly as possible. I hear him gasp as realisation sinks in.

"What do you mean suicide?" he asks.

"well not that I should be telling you, but the Princess and I found Rosemarie lying in a pool of her own blood, hours after the princess found her with a cut on her arm." I say angrily. "Belikov i promised you that, if you ever hurt her, I would come after you. So I want you to tell me exactly what you said to her to make her contemplate killing herself." I say almost shouting. I have moved from sitting to standing as the anger boils over the edge.

"I told her-" he hesitates again before taking a deep breath. "I told her love fades, mine has." He cries.

"Were you telling the truth?" I ask quietly, realising that people were staring and yelling wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"No." He breathes. "I told her those things so she would let me go. I told you I couldn't have her risking her life for me, I couldn't stay and have her look out for me, instead of the Princess. I thought I was doing it for her own good." He says desperately.

"Well you were wrong. Do you not realise that you being here did things to her; she was like a Christmas light around you. When you left, that light went out. She is a shadow of her former self. You killed any hope she had and obviously the only way she could escape the pain was through death. In the past month I have had to replace thirty-three punching bags and three staking dummies. All destroyed by Rose. I'm sorry Guardian Belikov but I can't comprehend how you think leaving her, was a good idea. Especially after saying those words."

"I'm sorry Alberta." He states quietly.

"It's Guardian Petrov and I'm not the one you should be apologising-" I say before being cut off by the doctor running out shouting my name. I spin around and see her. Her face is filled with panic.

"Guardian Petrov! Rose- she's-" I drop the phone, ending the call, not hearing what the doctor is saying.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 3** ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Well there is chapter three, lol left you guys with a cliffy. What do you think the Doctor is telling Alberta? What did you think, was it a bad chapter? Do you think there is more to why Dimitri left? PLEASE let me know! I was so happy this morning waking to all the email alerts about you guys favouriting and following the story and me. But only three review **** so please, please REVIEW and favourite and follow **** Ill try and have chapter 4 up before I go to be, but I really need some reviews, so I know if I am doing alright. Please if you have any suggestions or anything let me know. If the story takes off, then I may need a Beta, so if you think you will be a good Beta for the story let me know! Anyway have a good Day/ Night. Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov 3 **

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx **


	4. Chapter 4

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 4**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Warning: Strong Language used in this chapter**

_Previously_

"_Guardian Petrov! Rose- she's-" I drop the phone, ending the call, not hearing what the doctor is _

_saying. _

_Alberta_

"Pardon?" I panic, is Rose dead? I feel my breathing increase and the Doctor looks at me strangely.

"No, why would you think that? I came to tell you that Miss Hath- Rose is six weeks pregnant." The Doctor explains straight away.

"What!?" I screech not only did he leave her heart broken but he left her pregnant. Wait what! They are both dhampirs? Is fate really this mean to Rose that she is able to get pregnant with another dhampir. Oh wow this is some fucked up shit.

_Dimitri_

"Guardian Petrov! Rose- she's-" the phone cuts out before I can hear what is wrong with my love. What have I done? I thought leaving her was the best thing. This past month has been hell. Tasha keeps trying to seduce me and it is sickening. Why would the old Scarface think I would want her that way? She is nothing compared to my Roza. My love who has suffered because I was dumb enough to think that leaving her, was what was best.

I stare at the phone in my hand and throw it against the wall in anger. I grab my track pants and t-shirt and change. I grab my ipod and 'beats' headphones before leaving the room. I put the headphones on and turn the volume up to loud. I stretch before taking off.

The song changes and _Let her go _by Passenger comes on...

_Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last. But dreams come slow and they go so fast...But you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go...Staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart, 'cause love comes slow and it goes so fast. Well you see her when you fall asleep, but never to touch and never to keep 'cause you loved her too much. And you dived too deep...And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh). And you let her go (oh, oh, ooh). Well you let her go..._ _Only know you've been high when you're feeling low, only hate the road when you're missin' home, only know you love her when you let her go...AND YOU LET HER GO_

I push myself to run faster. The song finishes; and carry_ on_ by _Fun _starts blasting through my ears.

_Well I woke up to the sound of silence, and cries were cutting like knives in a fist fight, and I found you with a bottle of wine, Your head in the curtains, and heart like the Fourth of July..._

I listen and push myself to run twenty miles before, collapsing at the base of a tree. What have I done? My actions or should I say inactions caused my love to attempt to take her own life and for all I know she could be dead! I stay at the base of the tree contemplating for hours, before returning to Tasha Ozera's house.

_Lissa_

I stare at Guardian Petrov and the Doctor in utter disbelief, and then I start laughing hysterically. i try to stop but I can't. Where is Christian when I need him? He said he was going away for a few days, but I can't for the life of myself remember. Oh crap, he's gone to visit his aunt!

It's been strange in the last six weeks or so, Rose and Christian have become closer, I think that night when they fought together bought them together. He has gone to visit her, and one day he was just holding her and the next he was watching as she slept. I didn't understand why, now I do. He had picked up on what was making her so miserable; I hadn't.

Oh my gawd, I'm such a horrible friend! Slowly my laughter turns to incontrollable sobs as I realise that I have failed my friend, no my sister. I feel as my body weakens and I sink to the floor. My best friend is pregnant and heart broken by the same man, and I didn't notice any of the signs that she was depressed. I thought she was fine. Oh how terribly wrong I was.

As I begin to calm down, I reach for my phone, and call Christian.

_Christian_

My Aunt and I are talking about how moroi should be taught offensive magic and such when my phone begins to ring. I apologise to my aunt, look at the caller ID and answer the phone.

"Hey babe, what's up?" I ask happily. I hear her breath through the phone.

"Rose is in hospital" she replies her voice shaking, as she hiccups through her words.

"What?" I ask, worriedly. She then proceeds to explain about Rose and Belikov, I knew Rose hadn't been right after he left, I just couldn't work out why his departure had made her so upset.

"She tried to kill herself, Christian. But what's worse is she is pregnant with _HIS_ baby." She says before crying again. Before I reply to calm her down, the door to the house shuts and Guardian Belikov himself walks in. I drop my phone and march over to him. My hands glowing as red as a strigoi's eyes with heat.

"YOU!" I spit, "HOW COULD YOU?" I screech. He looks at me with absolute terror. Just as he should. Rose has become like my sister, ever since that night and the day he left. I couldn't believe him.

"I...I..." he stutters.

"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, YOU LEFT HER, SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF AND..." I stop before I tell him about the baby. He doesn't deserve to know, he's a piece of crap under my shoe.

"And?" he asks confused.

"AND, Nothing, you don't deserve to know ANYTHING." I spit. I turn round to my Aunt Tasha and apologise. "I'm sorry, Tasha. Rose is in Hospital, Lissa needs me. I have to leave immediately." I grimace.

"We'll come with you." She suggests, I look at her in disgust, not because of her but her suggestion.

"No. Rose is in hospital because of HIM. I will be returning alone." I say as I walk out of the house into the sunset, picking up the bags I'd brought inside only hours ago when I arrived.

_Dimitri_

I stare at the place where Mr Ozera was just standing then at my charge, who has remained slent through the whole thing. "I'm leaving." I say quietly, before going to my room and packing a few things. I am out of the door within minutes.

~~*~~*~~A WEEK LATER~~*~~*~~

_Rose _

I felt as if I was dying. I tried to move. But I couldn't. I heard voices around me; Christian, Eddie, Lissa, My mother, the Doctor, Alberta and Adrian. Talking to me, asking no pleading for me to wake up. The stench of disinfectant burnt my nose and the constant beeping was getting on my nerves. I was in the infirmary, but why? I tried to wake I couldn't. I heard the voices around me talking about babies and pregnancy and impossibility, but I shrugged it off, maybe Lissa had something to tell me?

Slowly I began to feel the ability to move my body again. I blinked once, twice, three times. I opened my mouth to say something, but there was something in the way. I started thrashing about, the inability to talk driving me over the edge. I heard a familiar thump as someone jumped up.

Then I was surrounded by familiar faces, from the voices I had heard to the doctor and nurses. The doctor quickly removed the breathing tube and gave me a glass of water. I spit and spluttered as it burnt my raw throat. Eventually I found my voice.

"What happened?" I cry. I look at Lissa, knowing she would know what happened. I watched as she walked round and grabbed my hand.

"Alberta and I found you; passed out in a pool of your own blood a week ago, you've been unconscious for a week." She said sadly. I looked at her and smiled. She looked at me strangely.

"Don't worry, I'll be fine. You've got to take care of your baby." I say hoarsely. Everyone in the room looks a little confused but also humoured.

"Rose, I'm not pregnant, you are." She says quietly. I stare at her till my vision become blurred.

"I'm, what?" I stutter, "Thats, impossible, I only ever slept with dim-" I sob unable to finish my sentence.

"Yes, with Guardian Belikov. We know." My mother spits.

"But...but..." I cry harder.

"Oh Rose, I'm sorry." Lissa says and the tears just fall harder down my face, down my neck and roll down to my back.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 4**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Well guys, two chapters in one night, boy are you lucky! I hope you are liking how the story goes. It was really hard writing the Dimitri part, but under no circumstances should you feel sorry for him! Remember he left Rose, even if he thought he was doing it for the right reasons, he was cruel. If you need to be reminded of how cruel he was go back to Chapter 1 and read the part when he tells her he is leaving. In my story Tasha is a bitch, but you wont see that for awhile... hehe. Anyway let me know. Thank you to the people who have read and reviewed/ favourite/ followed by story, can I please get to ten reviews by tomorrow? If I can write two chapters in like four hours, you guys can write a little review and let me know what you think! Anyway have a good Day/ Night. **

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov 3**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx **


	5. Chapter 5

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 5**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Rose _

I continued to stare at Lissa in disbelief. Dhampir plus dhampir equalled nothing, yet here I am pregnant. I am such a freak; I mean seriously why do all the impossible things happen to me? First I die, but my best friend is able to bring me back from death. Next I fall in love with my mentor and he leaves me, but not only that he left my pregnant.

"How?" I whisper, my voice is shaky; but I see that understanding flashes on their staring faces. "Please stop staring at me like I'm an animal or science experiment!" I yell, everyone suddenly looks down, embarrassment clear on their faces.

"We don't know how Rose, but you have conceived the impossible." Alberta says quietly, grasping my hand in the process. "But we will find out." She says after a few minutes. I stare at her in confusion, then realisation dawns on me. They want to test my baby and I, which is not going to happen.

"No! We will not be a science experiment! I don't want anyone, other than those in this room to know that my baby's father is a dhampir." I say looking at the people around me. They all nod in an agreement.

"Little D," Adrian says for the first time. I look at him, his hair is messy, not the- I just got out of bed hair- his clothes are wrinkled and his eyes are set in a deep dark purple. "No one will touch you." He says quietly. I look at him sending him a silent thank you.

"I don't want anyone to know, until after graduation; I'm only what six or seven weeks, right, graduation is in three weeks, and when I say ANY one I mean it. No one apart from the people in this room and Christian can know." I say looking at Lissa, a small smile creeps on her face.

"But Rose; what about your trials?" Lissa asks, crap! I never thought about that! I look to Alberta and my mother.

"We will sort something out." Alberta says kindly.

~~*~~**Two Weeks Later**~~*~~

I looked around at the spectacle the academy had become for the novice trials. I mean I'd seen them all for the last seventeen years, well except for the two I missed when Lissa and I ran away, but still. Every year was different. The course in which we needed to complete spanned five miles. There were different obstacles all of the course and hidden traps that we had to face on top of the guardians who were pretending to be strigoi.

All though I am full oh happiness and excitement today saddens me, makes me think of him. Makes me think of those mornings in the gym, every single one of them.

The last three weeks have been hell. I told everyone that under no circumstance was HE to be told about the baby. Both my mother and Lissa were hesitant about this; they tried to insist I tell him. But then Christian came home a day later and told us what had happened at Tasha's house and then Tasha called him in hysterics because her Dimka was gone. I sat there laughing the entire time.

_(Flashback)_

_"Sparky" I said, "why did you come home? You're supposed to be with Tasha?" I asked confused. He scratched head than had the same murderous look as everyone else seemed to have had at the time._

"I was, but then Lissa rang me and told me about Belikov" he sneered. "I'm sorry Rose, I don't realize what an arse he was." He said sadly.

"Don't-" I started to say but was cut off by that really annoying Nokia ringtone. Christian pulled out his phone laughing at my disgusted face.

"Aunt Tasha?" He asked. He listened for a while, it sounded like the women was hysterical, she was so loud.

"No, and I never want to see that fucker again! I'm sorry but, Rose is family..." He trailed off I didn't hear the rest for some reason. A few minutes later he hang up the phone and turned to face us.

"What's wrong babe?" Lissa asked, looking worried.

"That was Tasha, apparently after I left, that bastard left, without saying anything, Tasha is hysterical because she doesn't know where he is." And that is when I started laughing uncontrollably.

_(End flashback)  
_

Things have started to get back to normal, well as normal as they can I guess. They really shouldn't call it morning sickness, it should be called, 'whenever I feel like annoying you sickness,' since that day in hospital I've been taking better care of myself, for my baby. But Alberta was worried, like always and forced me to move in with Lissa. Which isn't so bad, apart from when I walk out from the bathroom and find her and you know who, firing it up, if you get my drift.

But here I am, dressed and hyped ready to begin my trials to be a guardian. Well about the trials... Alberta insisted all the guardians were made aware of my current situation, which also involved telling Kirova. And wow was that a meeting I wish I had missed.

_(Flashback)_

_Alberta, gathered all the guardians, including Stan, my favourite of them all, not. As well as Kirova and a few other teachers. I was accompanied of course by Lissa and Christian, but also my mother, Adrian and Eddie._

"Well," Alberta began, "I have gathered you all here today, to talk about miss Hathaway" she said, no one in the room looked surprised, I mean it wasn't like I was always in trouble for something.

"What has she done now," Stanny sneered, smirking. I just stared him down, giving him my famous Hathaway death glare.

"Stanny boy I'd shut up if I was you," pyro said jokingly. Alberta and my mother looked at him as if to say really?

"Anyway as I was saying, Miss Hathaway is pregnant." The gasps that echoed through the room was like a huge gust of wind sweeping through trees.

"I knew she was a slut, who just slept around with anyone." One of the guardians had whispered. And that is when I lost it.

"What the fuck makes you think I steeped around? I have only ever slept with one person and that was Dimitri fucking Belikov!" I screamed and the room went dead silent. Oh shit was my first thought, I had just told a room full of guardians that I had slept with my six foot seven Russian mentor.

The silence that filled a room was ear shattering; you could have dropped a pin and heard it as it hit the floor. Felt the betray-some tears fall from my eyes.  
All hell broke loose after that, but I remember Alberta saying something and Kirova shoot sympathetic glares at me. They probably all thought he used me then left me. Which is exactly what happened but I want going to give them the knowledge of that.

Alberta then went on to explain that I was to take the trials, but all guardians who were acting as strigoi ad to be mindful not to hit me in the stomach. She also started to say that of anyone said anything to anyone who wasn't on the room , well I don't know ah she said next cause my mother interrupted her and told them if anyone even breathed a word that would be having words with her and my father.

Ahhh my father, well that's another story not part of this flashback. After threats were thrown, Kirova asked everyone except me to leave. They all obliged, looking at me with a mixture of expressions.

Kirova had taken a breathe before she spoke, "Rose, you never seem to amaze me. But this, this I was shocked about, more so then you running away with the princess. D you know how it happened?" She asked and I just shook my head in response.

"We'll if you need anything over the next few weeks let me know. I am incredibly pissed off at Mr Belikov, I trusted him with you, one of our best novices. But I see that he has royally screwed up." She said kindly. It was the first time I ever felt that Kirova actually cared about me. We then talked for a few minutes, and then as I was leaving she apologized, I mean seriously apologized. It was scary.

_(End flashback)_

And so here I am now, waiting for my name to be called to prove that I am the best. My stomach in knots in more ways than one.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 5**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Well guys there it is, chapter 5, I know it's short, kind of a filler chapter, boring but necessary. I will attempt to post the next chapter tonight, yes it is night as I mentioned previously I am a kiwi, and although kiwis are nocturnal flightless birds I do not plan on staying up late all night to write a chapter, especially when I only got like three reviews for the last chapter! Come on guys please review as well as favourite and follow of course!  
**

**Thank you and have a good day or night and for all of those in America or who are American happy 4th July, happy Independence Day? :)  
**

**Remember REVIEW! FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW AND I WILL UPDATE FASTER!**

**P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night **


	6. Chapter 6

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 6**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Rose_

"Rosemarie Hathaway." My name radiated through the arena. Waiting in the tent with all the other novices, it took me a moment to realise my name had been said. As I took a step out into the arena, I saw all the spectators, watching, and as I took my step out it was if everyone sat up to pay attention.

The buzzer sound and I was off, I knew that I had to walk through the obstacles and such and at certain times I would be attacked. The first attack was Stan; oh I was going to enjoy betting his arse to the ground after the way he has treated me for the last seventeen years.

He pounced from a tree; but I was ready for him. I side stepped to the left, then jumped to the right, I then spun around, kicking him where it would hurt and as he cowered in pain, I did an upper cut then a round house kick and he was on the ground in an instant.

"Dead" I whispered as I help my stake to his heart. He sighed in defeat. It continued like this for about ten 'strigoi' until I came to a bridge, just like the one I had seen in my dream.

I scouted along the pathway, looking for any sign of a hidden strigoi; I stopped and listened, waiting for a crunch or snap of stepping feet. But there was nothing. I carried on, my guard up, waiting, expecting to be attacked. What I was not prepared for, was to be pounced on by six strigoi guardians.

I spun around looking at them all, as the first one attacked. Kicking him in the stomach forcefully, knocking him against a tree. I had barely a second until the next one, he aimed a kick and I grabbed his leg, spinning him around, hopping like an idiot. The next guardian was a female, I punched her in the gut, and then just as she was recovering another pounced and I banged the two heads together, a loud bang resonated through the course. The next one to attack charged, I reached for my stake and charged back, 'killing' him instantly.

"Dead", I whispered, what I was not prepared for was the next guardian, one who I had never seen before, but who looked oddly familiar, tall, brown hair, tanned skin. I began to hyperventilate, "Dimitri" I whispered, even though I knew it wasn't truly him, and so I hesitated, the guardian didn't however and I was grabbed by the neck, I elbowed him low and spun and did a round house kick to the head, he was knocked to the dirt instantly. I 'killed' him and then went on to 'kill' the others in which were still recovering from my attack. To make it more entertaining, I pushed all of them into the water beneath the stream, water I knew to be freezing cold.

Once I took care of them, I regained my control and breath and caressed my stomach. I continued through the course, until I came across the next 'strigoi' it was Alberta. I analysed her for a second, waiting to see what move she would take, Dimitri always said I acted without thinking, or that I would throw the punch and ask later who I punched.

She went in to attack but I jumped her back, startling her. She retaliated by spinning, I yanked her hair, then wrapped a leg around hers, capturing her before pulling her to the ground. Without a second glance I was on top of her 'killing' her. She nodded at me a smile pulling on her face; I jumped of her and raced off through the trees, looking for the next obstacle to be thrown my way.

I finished the course in a record time, by the time I finished everyone was clapping and cheering. I was exhausted. As I walked back to the tent, everything became fuzzy and I became dizzy with nausea, I sprinted to a tree and threw up my lunch, then collapsed into darkness.

"Just give her some room." whispered a voice. I felt my eyes flutter open and looked into the faces of six very concerned faces.

"Are you okay, Rose?" the same voice, Lissa, asked. I looked at her and nodded. Alberta and my mother helped me up and I was given a glass of water.

"So, how'd I do?" I asked looking around I saw everyone's expression change to one of delight.

Twenty minutes or so later, everyone was sitting down in the auditorium, for prize giving. The top student was to be announced a long with everyone's charge. Though we wouldn't be getting our promise marks until tomorrow.

Alberta walked onto the stage. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman, proud parents and families. This year's graduating novice class, is one of the best we have ever seen, their determination, endurance, and skill have made them become one of the strongest set of guardians we have ever seen here at St Vladimir's, myself and headmistress Kirova congratulate the class on their achievements. Now on to the awards." She said smiling.

Guardian Hans, the head guardian for the Royal guard and court guardians came on stage. Alberta began reading names and the awards in which they received.

"Eddie Castile, Second in Class, Assigned to Lord Christian Ozera at the Royal court." Alberta read, I gasped in happiness for my friend, second in class was amazing.

"Lastly..." Wait what, had every single other guardian been called, wow I really hadn't been paying attention! "Rosemarie Hathaway, first in class, first in combat, outstanding performance by a novice in all aspects of guardianship roles, Assigned to Princess Vasilissa Dragomir at the Royal court." I sat there in stunned silence, I had gotten top of my class, I mean I thought it was possible to get, but then after I left with Lissa I was sure I wouldn't, but to get outstanding in all my classes was mind blowing, that had to mean Stan gave me a good grade!

"Rosemarie, is one of the best novices, I have had the privilege of teaching, having been here for the last seventeen years, Rose has exceeded all expectations, having proven time in and time out her worthiness to be a guardian, especially a guardian to protect the last Dragomir, Rose is one of the few novices to receive her promise mark after already receiving several molinja marks and a battle star. It is with great pleasure I give you our top novice, guardian Rose Hathaway!" Alberta shouted, and the crowd broke into cheers and claps, I was stunned. I felt a tear escape as I made my way up to Alberta, where she handed me my certificate and a medal, recognising me as the top novice. I gave her a hug and whispered thank you in her ear.

The ceremony was over minutes later. I rushed to find Lissa, and found her with Christian and Adrian making their way over to me.

"OMG Rose!" Lissa screamed excitedly. I smiled at her and she attacked me into an enveloping hug. I was hugged by Christian and Adrian.

"Congratulations, Little D" Adrian said as he was hugging me.

"Thank you." I whispered.

We continued to talk like that for over an hour, lots of people came and congratulated me, hugging me and saying I exceeded their expectations.

It was then we were interrupted by a loud screaming.

"HELP ME!" the voice screamed, the guardians on duty reacted without hesitation, I looked to the way the sound came and in came running Tasha Ozera. Christian went running to his aunt, Lissa and I followed cautiously. Tasha looked up at me as I approached and screamed "you have to help him Rose, you have to!" she screamed before fell to the ground with a loud thud, which echoed through the auditorium. What did she mean I have to help him?

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 6**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Well there is chapter 6, I know its short, only like 1200 words, but I did give you two **

**So I left you guys on a bit of a cliffy, who do think Tasha is talking about, what do think is wrong with him? Let me know... hopefully you guys are enjoying the story, it saddens me when I see that like 400 people have viewed the story but only a few people have favourited and followed and even fewer have reviewed. Please make my day and let me know what you think should happen next. Thanks have a good day or night and for all of those in America or who are American happy 4th July, happy Independence Day? :)  
**

**Remember REVIEW! FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW AND I WILL UPDATE FASTER!**

**P.S. everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night!**

**KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xx**


	7. Chapter 7

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER SEVEN**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Rose_

Lissa looked at me with surprise as the guardians picked Tasha up and carried her to the infirmary. We followed I didn't understand what she meant. I knew who the he was, but why would I help him? After what he's done to me. We arrived at the infirmary and Christian went to sit by his aunt. A few hours later Tasha woke up. She looked straight at me.  
"Tasha, what did you mean?" I asked bravely. She took a gulp, then a deep breath.  
"Dimitri left after Christian yelled at him." She said. I looked at her confusingly.  
"Why'd he leave?" I asked. She then turned pointedly to her nephew. He just shrugged.  
"When Christian arrived, he'd been there barely twenty minutes when he got a call. When the call finished, he turned round to Dimitri and yelled at him. I couldn't work out why, then Christian apologized and said you needed help and left. After that dim-" I cut her off.  
"Please stop saying his name" I said emotionally.  
"Well he, said I'm leaving and went to his room packed up his stuff and left." She said sadly. I felt sorry for the women.  
"I thought you two were in love?" I asked confused. She looked at me with a slight smirk and she just shook her head.  
"No, rose he told me that his heart was somewhere else. But that he couldn't love her anymore because she was better off without him and that she deserved better. But then he also said that he couldn't love her because he wasn't prepared to give up the one thing he loved most of all- being a guardian. I mean we-" she stopped when she realised tears were running down my cheeks. The saltiness began to burn my eyes, you would think after all the tears I've cried over this man I wouldn't have any tears left.  
"Rose," she began and then realization sunk in. "It was you, wasn't it? That's why Yeva told me to come to you..." She trailed off. Wait what, why had his babush- what's a me call it? Said to her?  
"Tasha? Why are you here?" I said wiping my tears in the process.  
"Yeva told me to, she told me Dimitri had come to them straight after he left. She said something to him and he went crazy, they haven't seen him since and that was six weeks ago..."

~~Dimitri (6 weeks ago)~~

I didn't look behind me as I left Tasha's place. I didn't know Where to go on the one hand. I decided to return to Russia, go and see my mamma and ask her for advice. I had killed my love, because of my selfishness. As I arrived at the airport and went and purchased a one way flight to Moscow and a connector flight close enough to my home town that it wouldn't be a long drive. Unsay down and waited for my plane to be called.  
"Flight 807 to Moscow now boarding at gate nine" the intercom came over and I got up and went to the gate. The flight was eighteen hours long, I didn't even try to sleep I knew it would never come.  
After a day and a bit of travel I arrived in Baia, my home.  
My grandmother was sitting outside on the swing chair.  
"Dimka!" She said almost aggressively, I looked at her and smiled. "Don't give me that look boy! Now come and sit with me." I felt almost frightened. I walked over to her quickly and took the seat next to her.  
"What are you doing here Dimka?" She asked softer but still angry. I looked at her and was about to sob, but realised that's not what she wanted, I couldn't look at her and so I looked down at my hands, nervous for what she was going to say when I told her.  
"I killed my love, I left her out of selfishness and now she is dead." I said, my voice cracking on the word love and death.  
"What ridiculousness are you talking about?" She said angrily  
I took a deep breath and told her about Rose, then why I left and what I heard at Tasha's.  
"Dimka, your flower is not dead, but neither is she thriving. Your flower is withering without her sun to help her." My babushka said in her normal riddles.  
"What do you mean?" I asked.  
"Dimka you are so silly. Rose is alive but she is struggling without you. However she will get stronger in the days to come, but why if you know she is this way are you here?" She asked. I was to shocked in the news that my Roza was not dead. I shrugged my shoulders and let my guardian facade slip and cried.  
"There is something else Dimka. Your flower is special, having kissed the shadows that lurk around us, she is different..." She said I looked at her and cocked my head to the side in confusion.  
She looked at me in the eye.  
"Your Rose is replicating." She said simply, but the shock from the news of Rose being alive meant that I didn't register and I'm sure my face replicated my thoughts. She sighed loudly and looked at me.  
"Dimitri Belikov why are you here, when your Rose is having your baby?" She asked feed up at my stupidness. I looked at her even more confused. Rose was pregnant and I had left her? My grandmother proceeded to get up and walk away. I stayed sitting on the chair for hours. I slowly got up and went for a walk. I didn't realize that night had fallen. Too many thoughts in my head around my stupidness and selfishness that I only heard the end of a cackle before everything went black.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER SEVEN **~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**So this is chapter seven! Whoop, whoop. Sorry it has taken so long! The internet is playing up, as is my keyboard. Grumble, anyway this chapter ma not be that great I realised some people were left a bit confused at the end of chapter 6. I just want to clear it up and say, the guardian that tested Rose was NOT Dimitri! Apart from that I just wanted you to get the idea of what was happening to him at the time. Anyway that's it from me. I will t update faster, however uni has stated again and its m birthday on Saturday! **

**Also I was thinking, does anyone want to become m beta? Let me know especially if you have stories already that I can **r**ead to see your amazingness  
**

**Remember REVIEW! FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW AND I WILL UPDATE FASTER!**

**P.S. everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night!**

**KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xx**


	8. Chapter 8

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 8**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Rose_

Dimitri is missing. I can't believe what Tasha has just said. He's been gone pretty much as long as I have known I'm pregnant. Tasha explained to us, what Yeva, his babushka said to her; she told her I was pregnant, not that it was Dimitri's, mind you, and that both me and my baby were in danger. Yeva had seen something that scared her, apparently.

But right now There are three things I'm completely uncertain of: one why didn't she try and call me herself instead of going to the one person I dislike the most? Two where the hell was Dimitri and three, do I go to Russia and attempt to rescue him?

"_Rose!"_ I hear my name screamed both mentally and physically. I snap my head up to the sound of the voices, Lissa and Adrian.

"Yeah?" I ask confused. The confusion is obviously clear on my face.

"Um, you kinda blanked out for twenty minutes; I've been trying to get your attention for ages." Lissa says exasperatedly.

"Oh, um, really?" I ask.

"Yep, what were you so mesmerised by?" she asked quietly. "You can't, possibly even be contemplating going after him, not after what he has done to you." She says with a bit of annoyance, I feel her emotions of anger, annoyance and trepidation coarse through her. I just shrug in reply and she stares at me.

"What'd he do to her?" Tasha asks; we ignore her.

"Maybe I am, but no matter how he left, or the fact that he left, he is still the father of my child, and I...I..." I take a deep breath knowing that what I say will have a domino effect. "I still love him, even though he-" Lissa tries to cut me off.

"But Rose-" I cut her off instantly.

"No, He gave me the one thing I never thought I'd have, and I won't be selfish about it, I won't. I know I said I didn't want him to know, but he knows now, and look where it has left him. What if he has been turned, huh what about that? I made a promise to him, and I have to keep to that promise no matter what." I say, full of desperation and sadness, I look around at the people watching me, their face and eyes do not match; their faces show anger and apprehension. But their eyes, their eyes show sympathy and I don't want anymore or need any sympathy.

Gah, I chuck my hands up in the air in annoyance and they all take a breath of air. "Stop it! Just stop it! I'm not a baby, I know that only a month or so ago I was a wreck, but there is not just me anymore and I can't lose one of the only other things that matter to me, I can't lose anyone else, not now not ever! Not after I've lost so much already!" I cry and sobs take over my body, why don't they understand?

Warm arms encircle me in an embrace, when I look up and clear the tears from my eyes and before fresh ones appear, I see that it is Christian hugging me, not Adrian or Lissa. It is then that I realise why. He knows what I mean.

"You aren't going to lose anyone, not now, not ever again" he says holding me tight. I wipe away the tears.

"I need to speak to Yeva" I say sniffling, "I need to know what she saw." Everyone murmurs in agreement, realising I'm not going to rush off and do anything stupid. Wow me not doing something before thinking about it, I really must be a changed woman!

It takes me half an hour to calm down enough, to be able to even contemplate calling anybody. But now we are sitting on the red distressed leather couches in Adrian's apartment, seeing as how Tasha was discharged and Adrian has the biggest room of all of us.

Seeing how Tasha is the only one with the Belikov's number, she calls them and gets Yeva on the phone for me.

"Hello?" I say hesitantly

"Child, I know what you seek, but I can't give you that information. Your decision on whether you rescue my stupid grandson cannot be influenced by what I have seen." She says softly, not angry but not happy either.

"Is there anything you can tell me?" I ask, "I don't know if I can put my child- your great grandchild in danger to rescue a man that doesn't even love me anymore." I say quietly, turning away from the other as I do.

"Silly child, my grandson loves you very much;" she says with a chuckle "he is stupid is all, I told him not to leave you, but he ignored me and went to that... anyway he does love you Roza, you are the light to his darkness as he is the light your darkness. You will always rescue one another, you are each other's perfect half, but you will both always collect each other's hearts in a jar, if you don't realise your mistakes before it is too late." Yeva says with an almost mystical sound to her voice, the thing is, what she says just confuses me even more.

"Ok..." I say not totally convinced.

"Rose you know what to do in your heart, stop questioning it." She says before hanging up. I know she is right, I think as I wipe away a tear. Unfortunately I don't get the opportunity to ask her why she went to Tasha instead of calling me directly; I put the phone down and turn back to the rest of the group.

"I know what to do." I say before turning and walking out of the room. I go back to mine and get changed for a run, because in all honesty I don't know what to do, either way the two things that I love most in the world- apart from Lissa- are at risk no matter which choice I make.

I grab my iPod and headphones and head to the track, remembering that I can exert myself to much because of my baby. I switch on my iPod and begin running, as the last song fades out, a new one fades in and it's exactly what I need...

_I walked out  
You left me  
You know I'm hurting for you  
It seems now that it's over  
But there is nothing I can do _

_I don't know  
Why does love do this to me  
I don't know  
I don't know_

_Jackie came, she went away  
Deep in the valley, I kissed her that day but  
It seems I'm thinking of you  
But I'm still thinking about myself_

_I don't know  
Why does love do this to me  
I don't know  
I don't know_

_I miss you  
you know that  
But when I see you sometimes  
I'm cut up and I'm broken  
There am I asking you how you are_

_Jackie came, she went away  
Deep in the valley, I kissed her that day but  
It seems I'm thinking of you  
But I'm still thinking of someone else_

_I don't know  
Why does love do this to me  
I don't know  
I don't know  
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..._

Okay well maybe it wasn't what I needed but the song sums up exactly how I feel, he left me and yet I still want him, why does love do this to me? The lyrics of the song continue to float around my head.

_I've seen the world  
Done it all  
Had my cake now  
Diamonds, brilliant  
In Bel Air now  
Hot summer nights, mid July  
When you and I were forever wild  
The crazy days, city lights  
The way you'd play with me like a child_

Will you still love me  
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?  
Will you still love me  
When I got nothing but my aching soul?  
I know you will, I know you will  
I know that you will  
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

I've seen the world, lit it up  
As my stage now  
Channeling angels in the new age now  
Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll  
The way you play for me at your show  
And all the ways I got to know  
Your pretty face and electric soul

Will you still love me  
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?  
Will you still love me  
When I got nothing but my aching soul?  
I know you will, I know you will  
I know that you will  
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

Dear lord, when I get to heaven  
Please let me bring my man  
When he comes tell me that you'll let him in  
Father tell me if you can  
Oh that grace, oh that body  
Oh that face makes me wanna party  
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

And will you still love me  
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?  
Will you still love me  
When I got nothing but my aching soul?  
I know you will, I know you will  
I know that you will  
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?  
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?  
Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful...?

As I finish my fifteenth lap, I slow down to a light jog, then a brisk walk to cool down. Thinking about everything that's going on. Do I attempt to rescue him and put my baby in danger, or do I leave him and go to the Royal court, sitting, thinking about what could have been. The debate is like one you would do with a dandelion flower, but instead of he loves me, he loves me not; its do I go, do I stay?

_Rose, you've already made your choice, I can sense that you want to go, your emotions betray you, you love him and if you don't go, it will kill you and your baby will die anyway, at least if you go there is a change you will return to me..._ Lissa's voice vibrates through my mind; crap i forgot about the bond being both ways...

She is right of course, I need to save him, it's not in my nature to sit back and do nothing. I run back too Adrian's, knowing everyone is still there to tell them my decision.

As I arrive at Adrian's, I begin to feel nervous; what happens if they abandon me because I'm to weak, because even after all he has done I am going to rescue him. I turn the knob and open the door to see everyone in a mixture of emotions and postures.

My mother is standing arms crossed against a wall, straight faced talking too Alberta, who has her back turned but also has her arms crossed; Adrian, Christian and Eddie are sitting on the couch playing some zombie game, I think it's called the last of us? But they are smiling and laughing, having fun. Lissa is sitting talking to Tasha and Mia at the table, all grim faced. They don't notice my entrance and so i slam the door, which creates a resounding effect; everyone stops and looks at me, their mix of emotions turn to sympathy and apprehension.

"Rose!" they all say in a mixture of tones and volumes.

I close my eyes and bridge my nose, to maintain composure _I will not let the anger take over, i will not..._ i say to myself, I am so sick of the damn sympathy.

"Please, before I say anything, stop feeling sorry for me, i am fine and ive made my decision. I am going to rescue him-"

"Rose, sweetie-" my mother says cutting me off, and so I just cut her off in return.

"No, mother, I don't care if he loves me or not or whether or not he returns to me; but there is one thing I know with absolute certain I will not tell my child I sat and did nothing while its father was taken." I can't do that and I won't do that, in true Rose Hathaway style i am going to leap before really looking.

"Fine, but I am coming with you." A voice says, but it is not my mother, it's sparky.

"N-o," I begin to say but I am cut off by a second voice

"Me too." I look to the second voice, Eddie, I give him a slight smile, but shake my head.

"I won't let you-" I am cut off by a third voice, this one being Alberta.

"You're not letting us do anything, we are volunteering. Plus Dimitri was a good man, I don't understand his reasons for leaving and so I want to interrogate him when I find his sorry arse." She said almost evilly, she even had a little smirk on her lips.

In the end everyone is 'volunteering' to come on the mission; but it is mutually agreed that Adrian, Mia, Lissa, Tasha and my mother stay behind. I tried to stop Christian but he wouldn't let me, and in away I was grateful. My mother tried to protest staying but, it was decided someone would need to be in charge of protecting the place while Alberta was gone and so it was to be the four of us; Myself, Christian, Alberta and Eddie, it's funny because out of everyone they are the people I like the most (apart from Lissa, of course)

We decide to leave the following morning, having secured a private jet to do it. My mother also arranges for us to meet my father at the airport. Ugh, I am so not ready to see the old man. I still remember when my mum told me about him, when she visited me durring my dark period. I almost completely forgot i meet him, when she suggested it.

_[Flashback}_

_I was lying on my bed, headphones in, music up as loudly as possible, drowning my sorrows, it had been a week since he left. I didn't hear the bashing she apparently calls knocking on my door. But i did hear the crash as she broke in, slamming the door to the ground. There was a man behind her, he looked weird; an expensive looking grey suit, a purple scarf and a golden area; my first impression, was wtf, why was my mother bringing her charge to see me. I glared at her and then noticed as she began speaking, so removed my headphones. Before returning to glare at her; i just wanted to be alone. _

"_Get out!" I screamed. _

"_Oh, yes Janine, she is defiantly our daughter." Say what? Did he just say our? I look from my mother to the man, who had just spoken. My mother looks at me shrugs, then looks at my dark room, which admittedly smelled of dried blood, and like something had died; before returning back to me. _

"_Well, Rose, this is your father Ibrahim Mazur-"she said before he cuts her off. _

"_Please, Janine, Its Abe, Zmey, or Dad, Rose." He says and I turned my glare to him, this time only it's darker, and snarled._

"_You are NOT my father! Now get the hell out of my room!" I growled; suffice to say they left after that. _

_[Flashback]_

I haven't spoken to him since, and my relationship with my mother has only changed since the accident; we still haven't talked about the day she bought him to me, nor do I plan on ever talking about it.

"mum-" i begin, but I'm cut off by loud sound of the emergency siren blaring through the room. Bringing back flashes of the strigoi attack, three months ago...

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 8**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

*****PLEASE READ*****

**Ha, chapter 8, done and dusted and its almost three thousand words! This should make up for the lack of updating in the past couple of weeks, I mean you've gotten two within the space of two days! BUT it is now Wednesday, almost Thursday and it's my birthday on Saturday! Whoop whoop! Gonna be nineteen! Yuss, so I may or may not update between now and then. Depends on how nice I'm feeling and how many reviews you guys give. Haha I want to get to at least 35 by Sunday New Zealand time! So that's Saturday night American time- I think- it would be a great present if you could kindly review my story, I do have a few questions...**

**What should happen next**

**What gender should Rose's baby be? **

**When should she meet Dimitri, should he be strigoi or nah?**

**Got any other ideas that you want me to include?**

**So I think that's everything, please review and give me some help, is the story good or bad, if you write a really good one I may give you a shout out in the next chapter **** so please review!**

**Also: the song **_**Why does love do this to me? **_**Is by a kiwi band called the exponents, do listen to it if you haven't before; also Midnight youth and Evermore (I went to the same school they did) just some exceptional kiwi talent that Australians pretend to own... anyways, I'll let you get reviewing ;)**

**The other song is by Lana Del Ray and is from the exceptional film **_**the Great Gatsby**_** and is called **_**young and beautiful!**_

**~~*~~Remember REVIEW! FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW AND I WILL UPDATE FASTER!~~*~~**

**P.S. everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night!**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**


	9. PLEASE READ

**Hey guys, this is just an Author note, but please read!**

Ok so I've done 8 chapters now and ive only had 24 reviews, which is a bit sad especially when I had over 1600 views on the story and the last chapter got 130 views, I'm not sure if you guys like the story so unless I get more reviews in the next few days I don't think I will update for a while. I hate to do this especially because there are many of you who do review, which make me smile. So please, please review and I will update if I get to thirty or more reviews by Friday. If I get to thirty today, I will update tonight.

**ALSO**

Should Dimitri be a strigoi?

If not what should happen to him

What should happen to the school?

Is Rose alright after the attack

What should they have, girl, boy, one or two?

Got any other ideas? Let me know by PM or review

LET ME KNOW, have a great summer, while I sit here wrapped up under blankets in the winter and hoping nothing will fall on my head from these earthquakes.

p.s I am from Wellington, New Zealand

Xxxx


	10. Chapter 9

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 9**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_**Dimitri** _

I woke up and looked into familiar eyes. I couldn't work out how I knew them, just did. This has been happening for... Well since the day Yeva told me about Rose, this same routine of staring into familiar, yet unfamiliar eyes when I wake up.

"Dimitri" a females voice purred seductively, I tried looking for the owner of the voice, but the room was dark, I'd heard this voice a few times during my stay here, yet I had never seen this persons face.

"What do you want with me?" I seethed "you've had me here for ages, and yet you haven't done anything with me." I say annoyed.

"It's not you I want Dimka, you are just a means to an end." the voice said cackling. I didn't understand, how would I help them?

"Who do you want then?" I asked.

"That is for me to know and you never to find out," I the male voice whispered.

_**Rose** _

"Stay here, Rose!" My mother shouted, I tried to protest but I was held back by sparky. I broke down into tears after that. Why was everything falling apart?

Eventually I fell asleep, with no word about what was happening outside. I know I should have been awake looking after Lissa and sparky, but I knew Eddie would take care of them and sparky could just set strigoi on fire.

I was startled awake by an earthquake; well technically it was someone shaking me, but it felt like an earthquake.

"What?" I growled; it was Tasha.

"I'm sorry Rose, but I'd like to talk to you?" She asked. I nodded and sat up.

"What do you want to talk about?" Asked, kindly, I mean sure Tasha was in love with the love of my life, but who wouldn't be?

"Ummm, Dimitri..." She trailed of and I took a breath, I nodded and she continued.

"I don't love Dimitri the way you think I do. Yes, I once did; but not anymore and to be honest if I had known what I know now about you and him, I would have marched his arse right back here the second I cold of, but I didn't and for that I'm sorry. You see from the second that man meet me at the airport twelve weeks ago, he was a wreck, he kept to himself and when I tried asking him about it he said that he had done something horrible, he had done one of the worst things a man could do for a women, I knew he wouldn't hit a women, so I didn't understand but now I do," she took a deep breath, and continued

"and for that I'm sorry. I would never have let him come be my guardian if I knew that he had left the love of his life, because she was his student, but left her pregnant as well; I would have killed him, I still might. You see Rose, I've realized something since then, I don't love Dimitri the way I thought I did, he is my friend, not my lover , not anything, I hope you accept my apology and that one day we can get along; I mean we are practically family." She said looking at me smiling. I looked into her crystal blue eyes and I knew she was telling the truth.

"Thanks for that Tasha, but you see Dimitri doesn't love me, he told me himself. He told me that he never did love me that he used me as a plaything and any love he had for me was gone, he said the four most painful words ever; love fades, mine has. I almost killed myself because of him, and the only reason I am going after him, is so I can tell my son or daughter that I didn't sit round and let their father be killed, that even though I went after him he still left me, because that is what will happen, he will leave. I am only just getting over the pain of having my heartbroken at eighteen, I can't do this again, and I don't think I can love him the same way. This is my life now and he isn't a part of it." I take a deep breath and she puts her hand in mine." I said I wanted to laugh through the tears staining my cheeks; I sounded so old!

"I understand, I just thought you would want to know that he does love you and I don't think he means the things he said." She said smiling, I surprised myself and leaned over and hugged her.

"I'm glad you are not a bitch" I said smiling and laughing; she laughed and smirked back.

She gasped, "Me a bitch?" She said with a playful shock horror expression, I chuckled at her expense and shrugged. We sat there talking for ages, eventually, Alberta and my mother returned, both covered in blood. I ran to their aid immediately. I inspected them for any cuts, but apart from a few bruises, they were fine. The blood wasn't theirs.

"You guys ok?" I screamed with worry. They both nodded. "How many?" I asked cautiously I wasn't sure what I meant, did I mean how many strigoi or how many did we lose? I wasn't so sure; I guess I was curious about both.

"There were about seventy strigoi, and we lost three guardians, and two novices and four Moroi" she said sadly. I grimaced as did everyone else in the room; it made me think of the trip.

"I've made a decision, AlbertaIdontthinkyoushouldcomewithme" I said really fast, blurring the words together. Everyone looked confused.

"Come again?" Alberta said, worriedly. I looked up at my mentor, my friend, my surrogate mother, and took a deep breath.

"The schools needs you more than me, I don't think you should come with me to find Dimitri, I can't let you leave this place undefended, I will take Tasha, if she wants to come, and if my father" I sneered the word, "wants to come then he can, plus Eddie and Christian are coming, but I won't let others be put at risk, it was stupid to think of it in the first place, I'm sorry, I love that you would come with me, but I couldn't bare it if you got hurt." I said looking down to the floor. Moments later gentle arms wrapped themselves around me.

"You are right, I understand. I will stay, but I want you to take Miss Ozera with you, she can at least wield fire..." She trailed off and I held her tighter.

"Thank you" I whispered. It was then arranged and we all left to get some sleep and to pack for the trip tomorrow. Just as I was snuggling into bed, there was a knock at the door, I opened it to Alberta, and she was holding a long red velvet box.

"Rose, I know what you think of Dimitri. I am also incredibly pissed that he left you, but before he did, he left this with me and asked me to give it to you when you graduated, I practically forgot about it until now, I'm sorry." She said sadly. I took the box and she said goodnight. I closed the door and sat on my bed, box in hand.

There was a card sitting on top, and I read that first.

_Dear Roza,_

_I'm sorry I left. You probably hate me right now. But I had to leave you with something, this is why I left. You will be an amazing, fantastic, energetic, perfect guardian. I am so proud of you, and I will love you forever. I am sorry I had to leave. I didn't want to, but so many things happened. I mean you went back in there for me; you could have got yourself killed. And I couldn't let you do that; you need to be protecting Lissa and yourself. Not me. But in saying that I love that you put yourself at risk for me, and saved me from becoming one of those red eyed monsters. I love you now and always will good luck and congratulations._

_Love Dimitri_

_xx_

The card was slowly getting soggy as I read it over and over and my tears fell harder and harder, drenching the piece of paper. I slowly put the card down and opened the long velvet box. I picked out the heavy object layered in tissue paper and unwrapped it. I found the most beautiful stake ever. Long, silver, pointy and shiny, I spun the stake in my hand and looked at every detail. The handle was intrinsically designed; four of the eight sides were covered in roses, with red stones as the centre and vines, the other four were flat and shiny, except for the writing, each different.

One side had Russian writing _Это бутон любви, путем сквашивания дыхание лета, Может оказаться прекрасный цветок, когда мы встретимся__. _Which I was going to look up, I spun the stake round and found this side had the names of everyone I cared about; Lissa, Eddie, Alberta, Adrian, Mia, Christian (that one was surprising), Dimitri was even on there, and lastly my mother, Janine; I knew that it would serve a reminder every-time I killed a strigoi, I was doing it for the people I loved. The third side said Rosemarie Hathaway.

The fourth and final side, however was the one that bought me to tears _'love and loyalty run deeper then blood'_ was engraved in cursive script. I sat there holding my very personal, very beautiful stake. And it hit me. Dimitri truly did love me and I had to get him back. I sat there for ages, the tears rolling down my cheeks in sadness and happiness. I tried falling asleep, but nothing came, so I went for a run and the song demons came on through my iPod.

**_When the days are cold  
And the cards all fold  
And the saints we see  
Are all made of gold_**

**When your dreams all fail**  
**And the ones we hail**  
**Are the worst of all**  
**And the blood's run stale**

**I wanna hide the truth**  
**I wanna shelter you**  
**But with the beast inside**  
**There's nowhere we can hide**

**No matter what we breed**  
**We still are made of greed**  
**This is my kingdom come**  
**This is my kingdom come**

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
**Don't get too close**  
**It's dark inside**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**

**When the curtain's call**  
**Is the last of all**  
**When the lights fade out**  
**All the sinners crawl**

So they dug your grave  
And the masquerade  
Will come calling out  
At the mess you've made

**Don't want to let you down**  
**But I am hell bound**  
**Though this is all for you**  
**Don't want to hide the truth**

No matter what we breed  
We still are made of greed  
This is my kingdom come  
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat  
Look into my eyes  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**Don't get too close**  
**It's dark inside**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**

_**They say it's what you make  
I say it's up to fate  
It's woven in my soul  
I need to let you go**__**Your eyes, they shine so bright  
I want to save that light  
I can't escape this now  
Unless you show me how  
**__  
**When you feel my heat**  
**Look into my eyes**  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide  
Don't get too__close__  
It's dark inside  
It's where my demons hide  
It's where my demons hide._

The next song was also an imagine dragons song, but it was most defiantly more upbeat. It pushed me to go faster, my head sweltering with thoughts. I thought about him and where he was, what trouble had he gotten himself in, as hard as it was to admit it, I needed him and I didn't want anything to happen to him, he had given me unknowingly the one thing I thought I'd never have, the one thing I thought I never wanted, well till it happened that is.. .

**_So this is what you meant_**

_When you said that you were spent_

_**And now it's time to build from the bottom of the pit**_

_Right to the top_

_Don't hold back_

_**Packing my bags and giving the academy a rain check**_

_**I don't ever wanna let you down**_

_I don't ever wanna leave this town_

_'Cause after all_

_**This city never sleeps at night**_

_**It's time to begin, isn't it?**_

_**I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit**_

_**I'm just the same as I was**_

_**Now don't you understand?**_

_**That I'm never changing who I am**_

_**So this is where you fell**_

_**And I am left to sell**_

_**The path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell**_

_**Right to the top**_

_**Don't look back**_

_**Turning the rags and giving the commodities a rain check**_

_**I don't ever wanna let you down**_

_**I don't ever wanna leave this town**_

_**'Cause after all**_

_**This city never sleeps at night**_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_I __**get a little bit bigger but then I'll admit**_

_**I'm just the same as I was**_

_**Now don't you understand**_

_**That I'm never changing who I am**_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_**I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit**_

_**I'm just the same as I was**_

_**Now don't you understand?**_

_**That I'm never changing who I am**_

_**This road never looked so lonely**_

_This house doesn't burn down slowly_

_**To ashes, to ashes**_

_**It's time to begin, isn't it?**_

_**I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit**_

_**I'm just the same as I was**_

_**Now don't you understand?**_

_**That I'm never changing who I am**_

_It's time to begin, isn't it?_

_**I get a little bit bigger, but then I'll admit**_

_**I'm just the same as I was**_

_**Don't you understand?**_

_**That I'm never changing who I am**_

I continued to run; I began to black out the songs as my head focused on anything but the lyrics. I slowly became drenched in sweat, from the sweltering heat and running; I collapsed after running nearly ten miles round the track, I veered off the track to the trees, it was getting close to two pm and the sun was high in e sky and so I fell asleep under a tree, falling into a dreamless sleep.

"ROSE?!" A panic fuelled voice yelled my name, I then. Heard my name get shouted all around me, I opened my eyes and discovered I was under the tree and it was dark. I sat up, looking for the owner of the voice. Slowly everyone came into view, they were all in different part s of the track, and I guess since my crop top was fluro orange they were able to spot me and they all came running over.

"Oh my gawd Rose, you scared me, we've been looking for you,for hours, it's nearly 2am (human time) your flight leaves in three hours." Lissa said worriedly. I just smiled at her and shrugged in good ole Rose Hathaway style.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep-" I said and sparky cut me off,

"So you chose to sleep under a tree?" He asked, cocking his head to the side in confusion. I laughed at him before responding.

"No, I came out for a run, the heat must have gotten to me, and so I came to sit under the tree for some shade and I must have fallen asleep." I said smiling, popping the 'P' in the process. I rubbed my belly feeling hungry, it was then I remembered the baby. Crap, I'm already a bad mother.

Noticing my hand Lissa smirked "you know, I'm starting to think you want everyone to know, you do have a bit of a bump Rose, I'm not saying your fat, but when you where as much as a bra, you can tell you are getting rounder." I knew this was going to happen but it didn't stop my lip from quivering, and my eyes going wide.

"Don't worry little Dhampir, you are still beautiful" Adrian said, with one eyebrow raised, my mother slapped him, that was not surprising, its exactly what I would have done if I was standing closer to him.

I got to my feet and we left the track. As we're walking along, I got a nauseous feeling, one of the morning sickness variety and proceeded to be sick in the closest bush, unfortunately I hadn't eaten in over twelve hours and so it was only bile. Disgusting stuff I tell you.

We carried on walking and we passed a stand of chocolate donuts, as everyone continued walking, I veered to the left and went to the donuts, I ate so many, I was surprised that I didn't instantly turn into one but man they were yum_. Nom nom nom, _I thought as I munched on their chocolaty goodness.

A few minutes later, when I was sitting indulging in a chocolate milkshake, the others found me.

"Rose!" Lissa said looking at me with horror at what I was eating. I started laughing

"What?" I said feigning annoyance, I was pregnant, what more did she want from me.

***~*~*~* 3 hours later*~*~*~*  
**

We are finally on the plane to Russia, to save my lover, the bane of my existence, my everything. Sitting next to Eddie, I fell asleep. The ghosts got to me whenever I left the wards and today they were severely bad, unfortunately Lissa wasn't here to help.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 9**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**Это бутон любви, путем сквашивания дыхание лета,**

**Может оказаться прекрасный цветок, когда мы встретимся **

**means **

**This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,**

**May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.**

**Hey guys, I am so sorry for my little explosion yesterday. Thank you so much to those who reviewed, even though I kind of demanded it. I will be going on with the story. I just have to say thank you to the many people who gave suggestions for the story and I am taking these into consideration as I continue to write. I hope this chapter makes up for yesterday. I will attempt to do another chapter before Sunday. However life happens and well being a nursing student, you have like no time for anything else. But I am enjoying writing this story and my other two. By the way if you haven't read the grey wolves series by Quinn Loftis I would encourage you to do so, the first one, prince of wolves is a great book and it is a great series in general, the seventh book comes out in September 13th! Anyway have a splendid, day or night? And I will UD as soon as is humanly possible.  
Please if you feel kind enough leave a review, even if it is just a smiley face, they really make my day better. Anyway I have a cold, stupid winter. I envy all of you in the northern hemisphere where it is hot! **

**~~*~~Remember REVIEW! FAVOURITE AND FOLLOW AND I WILL UPDATE FASTER!~~*~~**

**P.S. everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx have a great day or night!**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**


	11. Chapter 10

JAR OF HEARTS

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~**CHAPTER 10**~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

_Rose_

We have been on the plane for ages; I haven't been able to sleep either; so now I'm exhausted. Christian and Tasha have spent the time talking apart from when they slept; they talked a lot about his parents and what she did to save him from them. I didn't realise how much Tasha sacrificed for Christian, she was so young when they turned. Eddie spent most of the time sleeping, except when we were talking.

"Good morning, this is your captain. We are approaching Tolmachevo International Airport, please prepare for landing. The current time is fourteen hundred hours, human time, the outside temperature is twenty-eight degrees Celsius with a slight chill to the air." The announcer- I guess captain said over the speaker. About bloody time! I am hungry and pregnant. Two things that, just don't go together.

We landed at the airport and we were off, we disembarked the plane and made our way to the terminal, there stood the man claiming to be my father- more like an unwanted sperm donor if you ask me.

"Rosemarie" he sighed with pleasure. I stiffened at the sound of my name. Luckily Christian came to my rescue.

"Mr Mazur." He said way to politely.

"Hmmm ice blue eyes, raven black hair... you must be an Ozera, ahuh you must be Christian Ozera and you must be Natasha." The old man said first to Christian then turning to Tasha.

"Yes. Yada yada yada. Can we go now? I think I'm going to be sick." I said exasperated. Christian smirked, Tasha chuckled, Eddie smiled and chuckled and my father frowned.

_Beep beep beep _my phone vibrated. It was my mother.

_Hope you landed safely. Btw your father doesn't know that you are pregnant. He does not know the length of your relationship with... either. : ) xx_

That woman annoys me so much. Like seriously? We slowly made our way through the airport; but it wasn't quick enough. I had to find the closest rubbish bin and empty, my already empty stomach. Someone came up behind me and help my hair.

"Kiz, what is wrong?" the old man asked.

"Firstly I am not a kid, secondly that is information that you are not privileged to know." I replied snarkily as I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth. Damn I thought once you got past three months the sickness stopped. Apparently not. He looked at me completely stunned, kind of like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Well as your father I demand you tell me." The old man warns. I spin round and give him the Hathaway glare.

"You are not my father, you are just a sperm donor, a father would stick around in his daughter's life, he would know everything about her, but no. Did you know that I died? Huh, did you know that I tried to kill myself, no? I bet you didn't, I also bet you have no Idea that Lissa and I ran away from the academy for two years, and that six months after I returned I got my heart broken and left to deal with this." I screamed, we were now sitting in his limo, someone had grabbed my hand, it must have been Tasha, and it was too soft to be Christians or Eddies. I felt the tears spring to my eyes and then roll down my cheeks, my nose slowly got blocked and I was sniffling. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Rose- I know more than you think. When you first went to the academy, I use to come and visit, you never saw me, but I was there. I got updates every two weeks unless you had done something- like the tome you threw a book at you kindergarten teachers head and called her a fascist bastard, good work on that by the way" he says giving me a wink and little smirk. "I was told the day you were in the accident and what happened, I wanted to come, I did. But Janine wouldn't let me. Yes I also know about your little adventure, you did very well. But I don't understand." He said sadly. I finally looked back up at him and he looked worried. I shrugged in response.

"I will tell you when we are alone, I guess I should give you a chance, and well you need to know why we are here I guess." I say quietly, I begin to fiddle with my hands. The rest of the journey is silent and slightly awkward. Tasha continues to hold my hand. I feel so lost. Here for the last eighteen years I thought my father didn't care about me; then when he did, I pushed him away. at last we arrived. The limo stopped and the door was opened, I got out and wow, the place was huge. The house was covered in grey uneven large cut stone. It was two storeys. The front of the house had a huge double storey window measuring from the top of the front door to the roof, well just below it. There was a small porch made of terracotta coloured tiles in front of it. The pathway from where the car had stopped to the porch was covered in tiny pebbles.

We made our way inside; there were guardians everywhere, as well as maids and butlers. Wow my father truly lived the high life. Our bags were taken from us and we all stood in the entrance way awkwardly waiting on my father, who had disappeared.

"Rose, my dear shall we have that conversation now?" my father yelled from another room, he then appeared before I answered. "What are you all doing standing here like awkward turtles; please go make yourself at home so I can talk with my daughter." My father said smirking. Oh god why did I suggest this. I looked at Christian with worry; he shook his head but grimaced before disappearing as did Eddie and Tasha. The old man signalled me to follow him, and that's what I did. We moved into a room with rich gold and burgundy colouring. It was quite a pretty coloured room. Ugh pretty? Seriously?

I take a seat on one of the couches, I kick my shoes off and prop my feet up next to me. I wait for him to start.

"Rose, I'm sorry I-" I cut him off, immediately.

"Why weren't you there? Didn't you want me? Didn't you love me? Why'd you let her put me in the academy all alone?" I ask hysterically, the questions I've wanted answers for my entire life have now been layed down.

"I was, in the beginning. But then bad things started to happen. My enemies tried to get to your mother and you; probably figuring that by hurting the ones closest to me, I would do as they wanted. So your mother and I agreed that she would take you away, and well you paternity wouldn't be known unless it was important. Both Kirova and Alberta knew who I was. We exchanged many phone calls and emails. They would make jokes about how much like me you are, especially when you did something they considered to be wrong. Every-time they rang I struggled to stop bursting out in laughter at what you had done; it was so much like me, I knew from the first call that you were mine." He says, pausing to take a deep breath to recompose himself, I guess.

"I've always wanted you Rose, for the last sixteen years the only thing I've had of my only child is photos and letters. It's been so hard knowing that you've been out there, not knowing who I am. I the business I'm in, meant that it was unsafe for you and for your mother... I love both of you so much. Your mother means so much to me, as do you. But for all our sakes it was easier and safer for us to be apart. I can't speak for Janine and why she left you at the academy, never visiting. But I suggested it to her. And look at what you have become! Graduating top of your class; on route to guard Vasilissa. But know I was watching all the time, though you never saw me I was there. Every year on your birthday and Christmas I would send you things." He says with a deep sadness to his voice. It was true he did send me things but Alberta claimed they were from the school.

I sniff before I speak. "I never knew" I whisper as the soggy warm tears roll freely down my cheeks. "I thought you never cared. I thought you were like all other moroi men, impregnating a woman and leaving. I thought I didn't matter to you." I cry harder. I watch him as he moves from his spot by the window and puts his arms around me.

"I love you Rose. I do. But I'm really confused, I know from my reports that you are never this emotional. Please tell me what's wrong." he says sadly. I blink a few times and take a huge breath. I wipe the tears away and look up at him, I take in his appearance. I finally see where I get my skin and hair colouring from. Our eyes, our skin, our hair. I am more like my father then I thought.

"Promise you won't think any less of me? Promise you won't be disappointed?" I ask worriedly, I don't know why, but I had an urge that I needed him to want me; I needed him to approve me. He looks slightly confused and worried but nods his head.

"I promise." He vowels and we share a smile.

"I guess I better start from the start." I say and my mind takes me back sadly, to the day Lissa and I were captured by the guardians. "Well as you know, Lissa and I ran away because of Victor Dashkov and Lissa didn't fully understand that she had spirit. We went undetected for eighteen months, then well I think we stuffed up, because the guardians caught wind of us, they were on our trail for six months. The found us in Portland, we probably could have escaped. But I- I wasn't in full health, being on the run meant we dint have access to feeders and so Lissa... she drank from me, she had finished feeding when I say a tall man watching us. I knew it was them and so we ran, but I was too weak. We were captured by a group of guardians, Dimitri Belikov and some others." I take a breath and recompose, saying his name aloud is so hard.

"We got back to the academy and they dragged us through the cafeteria, to Kirova and Alberta who were waiting. Lissa and I took a seat, and we were lectured about the dangers of what I'd done, you see she blamed me for taking Lissa, when I had tried to stop it, anyway Kirova said that she had no reason to keep me there, but she had an obligation to Lissa as a moroi... She suggested I go and become a blood whore. But Di- Guardian Belikov suggested that was a silly idea and that I had heaps of potential... I guess he don't realise he would then be stuck as my mentor. But that's what happened." I take another breath before continuing.

"We tried to deny it for so long, then Victor put a lust spell on me, nothing happened but oh how I wished it had. Guardian Belikov denied having any feeling for me, but soon after it was proven he did. After that we couldn't keep our feelings hidden anymore. I was in love with him. It was like that for a while. As he trained me to be the guardian I am, running far too many laps and sparring with a few kisses chucked here and there, we feel in love. Then about four months ago, a group of boys were torturing Lissa and the darkness I get from Lissa using spirit overcame me and I went slightly crazy, guardian Belikov intervened and he took me to a cabin to calm down." I take a breath. I am not looking forward to saying this.

"In the cabin we fully gave into ourselves, we made love. But soon after the strigoi attacked, and different events from that left me in a coma. You see I risked my life to save him when he was taken while on a rescue mission to save Eddie, some other novices and moroi." I take another breath. "He left a week after I woke up. He was just gone" I say sniffling. "He said to me, his love had faded, he told me that I was nothing to him. He broke me; he broke my heart stomped all over it, and ripped my soul in half. The next month I was depressed and that's when you and mom came and saw me; I couldn't handle it anymore and I subconsciously tried to take my own life. it was then in hospital that I discovered a miracle had occurred. I discovered I am pregnant. We don't really know how, so don't ask, I have no answers." I say as the tears keep rolling blurring my vision. I rest my hand on my slight bump.

"So then why are you here? Your mother said it was important." He says quietly, his voice is shaken with misery.

"He went to work as Tasha's guardian. He was there about six weeks, and then while Christian was there I had my breakdown; Christian accused him of practically killing me. Christian never got the chance to say I wasn't dead and so he left. He came here to Russia and well Tasha got a call from his babushka saying that I needed to rescue him as I'm in danger if I don't. He was taken, we don't know who by or where he is. But Russia is where we are starting." I begin sobbing and he pulls me closer to him. If only it was Dimitri's arms, those were the arms I needed to comfort me. Not these ones.

"I have one question, how much do you know about his family?" my father asks, deep in thought.

"Umm, well I know he has three sisters; Karoline, Sonya and Viktoria, plus his babushka Yeva and his mother Olena. I don't know about his father." I say sighing, whenever I asked him about it he said that his father was a truly evil man and that when we was thirteen he had to be the man and did something.

"I don't approve with what he did Rose, but I know Dimitri, he saved his sisters and mother from their father when he was thirteen, he was beating their mother up and he beat his father up and called me to help. I've help and check on that family quite often; Olena Belikov; is an amazing cook." He says smiling.

"I know, I'm not angry, having talked to Tasha and Yeva, I know that he thought he was leaving for me, to help me. That's why I need to save him. He needs to know about his child and I need my child's father. I love him. Now and forever." I say whispering the last part, it makes me feel weak but it's the truth, no point in denying it.

"I'll help anyway I can, why don't you go get some rest and take care of my grandchild and tomorrow we will make a little visit to some people." He says with a smirk on his face, when he finishes he gives me a wink.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ **END OF CHAPTER 10** ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

**This was just a filler chapter really. I needed Rose to talk to her father, part of her misery when Dimitri left was that people are always leaving her. I hope its not to mushy, I don't want it to be to long so I hope it's okay. I am thinking a Dimitri chapter next, or maybe the Belikovs? I am thinking Dimitri will be rescued in 5-10 chapters and the story over by thirty-five at the most... depending on what you guys think, I will either do an epilogue or sequel. **

**Anyway have a good Day/ Night. Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov 3**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx**


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Rose

My mind was plagued with nightmares as I slept. Well it was until a certain male spirit user intruded on them. Transforming my nightmares into a dream of being on a white sand crystal blue sea beach.  
"Adrian!" I squealed as he appeared before me.  
"Little dhampir and mini dhampir" he said smiling.  
I ran and gave him a hug. We spent ages talking, until It felt as if there was an earthquake but in reality i was waking up.

"Rosie?" The voice said. I knew all to well it was pyro and he was gonna pay for that. I sat up quickly and a loud bang resonated round the room. Rubbing my head I looked at Christian he was mimicking my movements and rubbing his own head, which was going a bright crimson.  
"What do you want!" I screeched quietly.  
"Your father told me to get you up." He said painfully.  
"Fine. Now get out!" I said loudly, I was not going to get out of bed in front of him. Especially when all I was wearing was one of Dimitri's large t-shirts. It was the most comfortable thing to wear, my bump wasn't huge yet but my boobs were growing and most of my other clothes were getting tight. Christian nodded and left. I got up, locked the door, plugged my iPhone into the stereo and turned it up as loud as possible. My favourite song at the moment came on, it was one which was bringing me lots of strength ever since I discovered he was missing.

_I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath_  
_Scared to rock the boat and make a mess_  
_So I sat quietly, agreed politely_  
_I guess that I forgot I had a choice_  
_I let you push me past the breaking point_  
_I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything_

I hoped in the shower screaming the song as loud as I could, the song bought me such strength, Katy perry had helped so much.

_You held me down, but I got up_  
_Already brushing off the dust_  
_You hear my voice, you hear that sound_  
_Like thunder gonna shake the ground_  
_You held me down, but I got up_  
_Get ready cause I've had enough_  
_I see it all, I see it now_

_I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire_  
_Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Louder, louder than a lion_  
_Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You're gonna hear me roar_

_Now I'm floating like a butterfly_  
_Stinging like a bee I earned my stripes_  
_I went from zero, to my own hero_

_You held me down, but I got up_  
_Already brushing off the dust_  
_You hear my voice, you hear that sound_  
_Like thunder gonna shake the ground_  
_You held me down, but I got up_  
_Get ready 'cause I've had enough_  
_I see it all, I see it now_

_I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire_  
_'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Louder, louder than a lion_  
_'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You're gonna hear me roar_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You'll hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You're gonna hear me ROAR..._

_Roar-or, roar-or, roar-or, roar-or, roar-or_

_I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire_  
_'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Louder, louder than a lion_  
_'Cause I am a champion and you're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You're gonna hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You'll hear me ROAR_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh oh_  
_You're gonna hear me ROAR..._

Like most songs it was a break up song, but it was time for me to fight back, claim what I have lost and get back up, brushing off the dust.

The song finished and the song that has made me erase so much in the last few days...

_I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me._  
_I still feel your touch in my dream._  
**_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_**  
**_Without you it's hard to survive._**

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._  
_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_Need you by my side._  
**_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._**  
**_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._**  
**_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._**  
**_I can't let you go._**  
**_Want you in my life._**

**_Your arms are my castle, your heart is my sky._**  
**_They wipe away tears that I cry._**  
**_The good and the bad times, we've been through them all._**  
**_You make me rise when I fall._**

**_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._**  
**_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._**  
**_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._**  
**_Need you by my side._**  
_'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static._  
_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._  
_Can't you hear my heart beat so..._  
_I can't let you go._  
_Want you in my life._

_'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._  
_And everytime we kiss, I swear I could fly._  
_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._  
_Need you by my side..._

I sung the song quietly as the tears rolled down my cheeks, the way they had ever since he left. Since the day I discovered our miracle, and the day Tasha told me he was missing. I had to save him, I need him by my side. As strong as I am I can't raise and baby even with everyone helping. I need my Russian God, even is if he doesn't need me. I caress my swollen abdomen as I was myself with the vanilla scented body wash and the frangipani smelling shampoo. I finished my shower and dressed in a deep red merino wool dress, that hung loosely off my ever expanding body, black tights, black ankle stiletto boots, black scarf and jacket, I strapped my stake to my thigh and applied minimum make up, leaving my hair in its natural waves. I left the bedroom, which ironically had a Rose hanging on the door. I headed downstairs to the bedroom singing "wonder" softly under my breath.

_" I can beat the night, I'm not afraid of thunder, I am full of light, I am full of wonder..."_ I sung as I walked in, I walked into the kitchen to four faces of complete and utter shock and amazement.

"What are you all staring at, you look like fish out of water?" I asked confused.  
"Ummm, Rosie, I didn't know you could sing," Pyro said in wonderment.  
"Yeah Rose, like that was amazing." Eddie said in agreement.  
"Wow." Was all Tasha said, my father still stood there in shock.  
"Oh, thanks, I think." I said almost shyly, he had once said that about my voice too. I guess there was much about me, that only he knew about. "So this mother bear is hungry, what's for breakfast?" I asked and right on que a huge tower of pancakes and chocolate glazed donuts were bought to the table.  
"Here you are miss Hathaway." The maid said, before disappearing, before I had a chance to thank her. I dug in and ate great fully.  
My father snapped out of his daze and spoke suddenly. "We are heading to Baia, later. I would like to pay a visit to my old friend Yeva." He said with a smirk. It took a money for me to realize he meant we were going to visit the Belikov's. shit. "We leave as soon as my daughter finishes feeding my grandchild." He said in a slightly evil voice.

Twenty minutes later we are sitting in the sleek black cars driving to his place. I started singing roar, the song stuck in my head since my shower. We arrived at the Belikovs, and I felt myself get nervous. Time to meet the family. We all got out of the cars.  
I hid slightly behind my father as the door was opened by a middle aged women smiling.

"Zmey!" She said happily.  
"Olena Belikova, how are you?" He said, flashing the rare smile of his.  
"I've been better, I just want to know where my Dimka is." She replied in Russian. I knew they were talking about him, when the said his name and that she sounded so distraught. I stepped around my father and went to introduce myself.  
"Mrs Belikova?" I said quietly, she turned to me and had a huge smile, any bit if sadness gone.  
"Roza?!" She shouted as a question. I looked at her confused, how'd she know who I was?  
"That's me" I said smiling. She wrapped her arms around me.  
"My Dimka told me all about you, he loves you so much and now you are here but he isn't." She whispered in my ear sadly. I looked her in the eyes, grabbed her hands and smiled by killer smile,

"And that is why I am here, I need him as much as you do." She smiled, although she looked slightly confused. We went into her house and Tasha introduced, Christian and Eddie to her.

"Please tell me why you are here." She said sadly and I looked to her.

"I think I need to tell you a story first." I said quietly as I took a seat opposite her on the couch, I took my shoes off and removed my stake, so it didn't stab me. And placed my bent legs under my bum.

" I'm not sure how much your son has told you about our relationship, so I think I'll start from the beginning." I said quietly. However before I could start the front door was opened and moments later three women- two carrying young children- and a boy about the age of ten- who must be Paul walked in, followed minutes later by an elderly women. They all stared at me in states of confusion.

"Mama?" The youngest girl asked. Olena smiled and looked at her three daughters.

"Karolina, Viktoria, Sonya, this is Roza" she said simply and they all squealed. I was waiting for them to attack me but luckily they didn't as Yeva cut them off. She spoke something in Russia and all the girls took a seat somewhere round the room, waiting in anticipation for something. I guess they were waiting for my story.

I took a breath, closed my eyes and began. "I meet Dimitri, when he kidnapped my best friend and I and returned us to the academy, we had left two years earlier to escape a horrible man. When we returned our headmistress stated that she had no obligation to keep me, but my best friend, Lissa is the last dragomir and so she- Kirova had to keep her. Your son and your brother." I said nodding to Olena and then the three girls when I opened my eyes as I mentioned him.  
"He stood up for me, and in the end got landed with mentoring me so I caught up with the rest of my year. At first I hated him, I don't know what he told you about me, and how often. But let's just say we didn't see eye to eye. He was a good teacher and I slowly caught up, even though I hated how it was early mornings and alway started with a run. During this time, I fell in love with him and I could tell he was falling for me. But being the man he is, he hid it, no matter how hard I tried he maintained..." I said trying to think of the word.

"Professional?" Sonya supplied, I smiled at her great fully and nodded.

"Yes, professional, then the evil man out to get my friend, one night put a lust spell on a necklace and gave it to me. I went to his room and as soon as he touched me,marrying to remove me from his room that is, he was under the spell too and let's just say if he hadn't realized when he did, our clothes would have been gone and you know what happens next." I said softly, mindful that there were young children in the room.

" he quickly realized and luckily he did as I was able to warn guardians about Lissa being abducted and rescue her. The man was put in a cell and I went to visit him and he said that the spell wouldn't have worked if there were feelings there. I confronted Dimitri and although it took days, I was able to get it out of him that he really did feel for me. I guess the fact he saved me from a student, who was the daughter of this man, who had turned strigoi. After his confession, we continued as we could, stolen kisses here and there during practice and other times." I took a deep breath, knowing the next bit of information was going to be the hardest to explain. I felt someone with rough hands grab my had and hold onto it, I looked up and found the owner to be Christian. He knew this story well I guess.

"One night, Lissa was getting tortured in away by a group of students who had formed a group called the mana. I found Lissa. I guess I should explain something before I carry on. A few years ago, Lissa, her family and I were on holiday and we were involved in a car accident. Lissa was the only survivor." Gasps resonated through the room. I felt the questions in everyone's minds bursting in how I was here, if I was supposed to be dead.

"Lissa is a spirit user and we don't know how, but that day she used her magic and bought me back to life. Ever since then I have been able to get into her mind, much like Anna and st Vladimir. Trust me it's great sometimes but other times I wish it wasn't there. Anyway as a spirit user, Lissa conjures up a sort of darkness every time she uses. And when I feel it I take it away from her. That night when she was attacked by this mana group, I felt that darkness and took it from her. However the darkness took over and I went a little crazy, I attacked the group and if it wasn't for Dimitri, I may have killed someone. He took me away to a cabin to calm me down, whilst there things got heated and next thing were on the bed." I said, my mind going back to the night my miracle was conceived.

"Awhile later the school was attacked by quite a few strigoi, and Moroi and dhampirs were taken. A rescue mission was planned and we went to their hiding place. By this time we had a couple of hours till dawn. Anyway I was told to remain outside the cave and everyone but Dimitri came out. I'm not sure what it was but I went after him. Lets just say I ended up in a coma. Dimitri decided about a week after I woke to leave, I know now that what he said was a lie, because otherwise I wouldn't let him go, the day he left he broke my heart. The next month I was in a dark place, barely eating, it got so bad I contemplated suicide. You see, I began cutting myself, wanting to feel some kind of emotion that wasn't heartbreak, I wanted real raw pain. On this particular day, I cut myself deeply, and lost a lot of blood. As I was blacking out of consciousness, Lissa discovered me and I was taken to the infirmary. By this time, Christian, who at the time was away visiting Tasha, had just reached her place infact, when Lissa called him and told him about me-" I said, however I was cut off my Christian.

"Yeah and that call nearly killed me." He said sadly. I gripped his hand.

"Anyway, Christian went a little off at Dimitri and practically said that I was dead blaming it on Dimitri and in reality I may have been, if it wasn't for Lissa. However that day was the day I got the greatest news in a long time. You see the day Lissa bought me back to life after the accident, she did something to me, it only did she heal the problems that I endured int he accident she also healed my fertility problems, well the problems all dhampirs have if they try to procreate. You see at night Dimitri and I made love in the cabin, a miracle happened. Still to this day, I can't believe it. A few days ago Tasha came to court and informed us of Dimitri missing. I blame myself as much as anyone, I should have tried to contact him, but I didn't and so, I need to save Dimitri, for three reasons, the first being he is always saving me, secondly no matter how much he screwed up by leaving in the first place I will always love him irrevocably, no matter what we have both done, he is my other half, and thirdly because he deserves to be in his child's life, and this child deserves to know their father." I say as I caress my stomach. I keep my eyes closed for a moment slowly open them and everyone, including those who had already heard the story were staring at me with different expressions:the Belikovs seemed to be a mixture of shock, excitement and sadness, while Tasha was sad, and Christian and Eddie looked deep in thought, the only two people who looked at all sane were my father and Yeva, who were both smiling in trepidation. I wasn't sure why. I guess I had finally admitted out loud for the first time that I irrevocably love Dimitri and that I always will. No one says anything. But a certain jelly bean, is pressing on my bladder and I need to pee badly, but I don't know where the bathroom is.

"Pregnant lady has a problem, where's the bathroom?" I say and everyone bursts into laughter.

**Well that's chapter 11, sorry it's taken so long, uni has been busy. Anyway what do you think? Please review and follow and favourite, you know the drill :) **  
**Xxx **  
**KazzaHaleBelikov**

**Just had another earthquake, 5.1 too, the ground is moving once again... Any other kiwis, feeling the earthquakes?**

**Have a good day/ night**

**I might put another chapter up in the next few hours.**


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Rose**

The conversation with the Belikovs became enjoyable. When I returned from the bathroom, the girls wanted to know all about their niece and nephew and Olena just wanted to take me in her arms and hug me.

"I can't believe you fell for my brother." Sonya said laughing. We were sitting at the table wilting for lunch.

I smiled before responding. " there a many aspects to your brother that is loveable, his dedication and selflessness are the top two. I know now from what Tasha has told me, that he was miserable while there, I just dnt understand why he came here rather then going to court." I say sadly.

"What did he say to you Rose?" Sonya asked.

"He told... He told me, loves fades mine has. The worst however was what preceded that, I asked him if he loved me and he said he did, but stopped mid sentence and said he didn't any more he said and I quote "Of course I love – no, Rose I did love you, I can't love you, I won't love you, I don't love you." But Sonya the worst part is I believed him. I let him leave, I guess it's only fitting that I am going to save him." I say sadly, I rest my head in my hands, a silent tear falls down my cheek at the memory.

"Rose!" Viktoria, squeals into the room, I left my head and get a sympathetic look from the rest of the family, before turning to the energetic teen.

"Yes." I say smiling.

"What are you going to call my niece or nephew? Have you thought of names, anything." I smile at the thought.

"I have. If its a boy his name will be Vanya (Ivan in Russian) Mason Belikov, and if its a girl, Christian, you can not say anything... If its a girl, her name will be Mila Vasilisa Belikova." Viktoria squealed louder then before and the entire Belikov family had smiles on their faces, even Yeva. "But, that may change, Vik, I have to find your frustratingly selfless brother, and get his input." I say smiling, the day I tell him about his child, face to face not by other people

**Dimitri**

I have been here almost eight weeks, I'm sure of it. It is hard to stay awake, I am losing a sense of myself. I don't recall why I was walking that night, I don't recall my reasons for coming to Russia and leaving my love. But she doesn't love me. She told me love fades mine has, she told me that although she did love me, but that she can't anymore, that she won't and doesn't love me. I remember the day as clear as water, the day she broke my heart.

This bed is not comfortable, I barely fit, and my arm is cuffed to the railing. I am barely feed, probably away my captors can keep me weak. I know that I need to survive, I need to survive for so etching but I don't remember what it is.

I am woken daily to my blood being drunk from my neck, I see the red eyes when they finish. I don't know who they are or what they want. But I have a feeling they won't turn me. But the undead are unpredictable.

"Ahhh, buddy you are awake." The voice that has haunted me for the last few weeks speaks. His body comes into view and with my now adjusted eyes, I can see his features in entirety. I cannot believe my eyes at first, they must be playing tricks on me. Because this man, my friend should be dead. He died when I visited my family that fateful day. Ivan zeklos should be dead. I guess being a strigoi is in essence the same as being dead.

"Why?" I whisper. How could he do this to me, he was my friend. I protected him.

"Dimka, I don't want to, but she's making me. She wants a new toy and you are her way to that toy. I'm sorry buddy. I can't help you. I wish I could, but she is doing things to me, to-" he is cut off as his name is yelled through the building

"IVAN!" My female captor yells before she come barging in through the door. However e light is gone and I still cannot make out her features.

"What are you doing?" She screeches.

"I'm sorry master, I couldn't wait, I was hungry and he just looked so tempting and miserable." Ivan said, I could hear the humour in his voice, but also realized I needed to act more weak then I was for his story to be plausible.

"Fine, I have news. My new toy has arrived in Russia, she brings, others and so I am going to need to capture her. I want her. Shadow kissed or not I want Rosemarie Hathaway and I want that spawn she carries." The females voice cackled with evil. I was filled with dread. My Roza is in Russia, and what does she mean by spawn?

**Rose**

Sitting outside and soaking up the sun, I am disturbed by a presence. I one my eyes to see Yeva.

" your sun, your light, your guide, is not what is desired, they seek a plaything, like a kitten and a ball of wool. Take precaution, don't let your seed be taken, protect what is yours, before the new moon, you will be gone or he will be saved, both cannot be simultaneous but neither will occur without the other. Be prepared. Be like hansel and Gretel leave a trail where you go, it will be your savior." She said before disappearing.

She was obviously talking about Dimitri, he is my light, my seed is obviously the baby, new moon, shit the next new moon is in like three weeks. I will be taken at some point but that is what's needed to save him. And to leave a trail well that's simple, they need to be able to find me I if I go mixing. I have to talk to Abe and we need to plan!

**There is chapter 12! Whoop it's 2:40am and I am done! Do you think Dimitri should be rescued next chapter or more? What do you think of the names? Well you know the drill leave a review and let me know! **

**Xxx **

**KiwiKazzaHaleBelikov**


	14. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Rose**

We have been in Russia for a week now. I haven't told anyone of what Yeva said. Maybe I should. But we are no closer to locating, you know who since we left. Tasha has been really helpful though, it's been nice having a women around, especially with all these males who don't know about women in the least. I am sixteen weeks this week, it's now obvious that I'm pregnant. My stomach kind of popped out in the last two days. Sitting in my fathers large dinning room we are at a standstill and what to do.

"Yeva told me something." I blurt out, unattended. All eyes switch to me, I feel the heat rise in my cheeks, though I never get embarrassed.

"And?" Christian demands softly. Our relation this past week has really improved, he has promised to not call me Rosie, if I stop mentioning his crotch and fire in the same word. As if.

"She told me, that by the next new moon, he will be rescued. But that we need to act like Hansel and Gretel. What ever that means." I say, skipping the parts of me needing to be kidnapped for this to happen.

They all continue to look at me, like I've just told all the men to go put dresses and make-up on. Admittedly that would be hilarious, but I did nothing of the sort. I shrug and stand up, leaving the kitchen, needing to sleep, even if I've only been awake for like four hours. I hear the talking continue as I walk away. Walking into the room where my father and I had our discussion that day, I walk over to the couch and lie down. Moments later I am asleep, only is time I am taking not to a dream but a memory- I think.

Dimitri and I are sparring in the gym, his brown globes are starring at me intensely, but they are full of love, and he is smiling. He looks so carefree. The dream changes and he is lying on a cot in a dirty, dusty room, handcuffed to the bed. His skin is of a grey hue, he is not moving and his brown orbs look lost- the dream cuts off as I am awoken by screaming, it takes me a Monet to realize its me. By then everyone is looking at me and I burst into tears. Arms wrap around me, but like the last four months they are not the arms I crave, no they are not the arms of the dead looking man I had just seen in my sleep.

I sob for ages, no one speaks, slowly I pull myself together, reminding myself that he isn't that way, and even if he is I will save him, because I'd rather he was alive then dead, that fate is worse then not being able to hug me, and only slightly better then him having no soul.

**Two days later**

My bed in my fathers house is amazing, with my iPhone on with my earbuds in my ears, I cannot hear the outside world and I start to sing, changing the lyrics as I go...

_Ohhhhh ohhhhhh ohhhhhh ohhhhhhh_

_Oh, his eyes, his eyes_  
_Make the stars look like they're not shinin'_  
_His hair, his hair_  
_Falls perfectly without him trying_  
_He's so beautiful_  
_And I told him everyday_  
_Yeahh_

_I know, I know_  
_When I compliment him, he won't believe me_  
_And it's so, it's so_  
_Sad to think that he don't see what I see_  
_But every time he asks me "Do I look okay? "_  
_I say_

_When I see your face (face face...)_  
_There's not a thing that I would change_  
_'Cause you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_  
_And when you smile (smile smile...)_  
_The whole world stops and stares for a while_  
_'Cause boy you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_  
_Yeah_

_His lips, his lips_  
_I could kiss them all day if he'd let me_  
_His laugh, his laugh_  
_He hates but I think it's so sexy_  
_He's so beautiful_  
_And I told him everyday_

_Oh you know, you know, you know_  
_I'd never ask you to change_  
_If perfect's what you're searching for_  
_Then just stay the same_  
_So don't even bother asking if you look okay_  
_You know I'll say_

_When I see your face (face face...)_  
_There's not a thing that I would change_  
_'Cause you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_  
_And when you smile (smile smile...)_  
_The whole world stops and stares for a while_  
_'Cause boy you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_

_The way you are_  
_The way you are_  
_Boy you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_

_When I see your face_  
_There's not a thing that I would change_  
_Cause you're amazing (amazing)_  
_Just the way you are (are)_  
_And when you smile_  
_The whole world stops and stares for awhile_  
_Cause boy you're amazing_  
_Just the way you are_

_Yeah..._

The song finishes and I feel that not only have my eyes closed but I'm crying. Imagining all the sparring sessions of us together, of us falling in love. I wipe my tears away, just in time for someone to knock, no bang on my door.

"Come in" I yell, I take out my headphones and wait.

"Kizm, I bought you a present." My father says , walking slowly carrying a flat box. He hands it to me and I open it. Inside is a beautiful necklace of snakes, one made of black stones, the other made of diamonds. Interlocking together to make a heart, set on a white gold chain. I find the snake joke funny and burst in to. Laughter when I make the connection between them and my father.

"Thanks oldman, but um without being rude, why are you giving me this?" I ask, in un Rose Hathaway style. The oldman then gets really uncomfortable.

" ummm, well, it kind of has a tracker in it." He states really nervously. I look at him and it clicks. Yeva said make like Hansel and Gretel, they left cookie crumbs to make their way home, and he is giving me a tracker so they can find me. I look at him in confusion how'd he know to put the tracker on me? I stare at him and he gets uncomfortable even further, now I know there is something defiently up.

"Spill it, old man" I almost scream.

"Yeva told me, what she told you. But I haven't told anyone, I know that you will get taken, but I know that if I told the others, they wouldn't let you out of their sight and this si the only way to get him back." He says, I look at him closely and see the small balls of sweat condensating on his forehead.

**5 days later**

Being in Siberia, you would think the place would be an arctic wasteland, but it's not, just like most places, the weather is variable and one day it can be freezing the next sunny, and that is what it is today, sunny. Getting dressed, I grab my stake, and wear, my black maternity skinny jeans, a loose fitting black top and scarf as well as my combat boots and jacket, it's just going dusk or dawn- if you're a vampire- and so everyone is still sleeping, I however want to go for a walk. Having discovered a way out of my second story bedroom window to the ground, so I am not discovered by my fathers guardians, or other workers. I get to the bottom and quickly make my way across the grounds. I steal a car, and drive to the town, which is about twenty-five miles away. Once there I look for food, I'm starved. After a plate of pancakes and chocolate milkshake as they didn't have chocolate glazed donuts, I leave the restaurant.

As I am round the corner, I hear a sound, bend down to pretend to tie my lace. What I should have been prepared for, but I wasn't, was to be knocked out, which is exactly what happened. Black dots covered my eyes and I lost consciousness.

**Well there is chapter 13, I guess you all ow what's next? Haha maybe you do, maybe you don't! I want to get to attest 50 reviews before I post the next chapter, c'mon guys, I know, pressing that tedious button and saying a couple of words is so hard!**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov 3**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx**


	15. Chapter 14

**So I guess since you all so kindly reviewed and I got to 50, I should give you another chapter? Mmmm ok, sorry if there are any heinous mistakes, my laptop is stupid and had to many viruses and the keyboard broke, so I'm on my iPad... Anyway here it is...**

_Last time on Jar of Hearts__: As I round the corner, I hear a sound, I bend down to pretend to tie my lace. What I should have been prepared for, but I wasn't, was to be knocked out, which is exactly what happened. Black dots covered my eyes and I lose consciousness..._

* * *

Chapter 14

**~~~~~~~~~~*Rose*~~~~~~~~~~**

All I see is blackness, I can't distinguish the sounds around me, but I know I am some where cold. My mind is plagued with dreams, desires, but also nightmares. The blackness takes over and I am in a familiar room, an empty room, with no doors or windows, no way of escape, the only item is a mirror, a huge wall sized mirror. The room is white, as are my clothes, my swollen stomach is gone, and my hands are covered in blood. And it's not just little dots of blood either, no it's litres of blood, bright crimson red blood. The worst part is I just stand there, no emotion, no movements, no nothing, I am usually looking down at my hands, but this time I am looking up, in to the mirror and my eyes are ringed with the bright red irises. I look around the room and see nothing, like usual. Deep down I know I should feel terrified, but I don't. I close my eyes, and when I open them, the room has changed once again, this time there is a cot, and the room is an off white, cream colour, with blue borders. I look around and see the floor littered with those I love, including my yet to be born child. My body heats with emotion, and I collapse in a heap. I feel the warm liquid fall down my checks, but instead of tasting salty, they taste coopery, like blood. I try to wipe the blood away, from my checks and hands, my white clothes turning pink, then red. The blood is there and there is nothing I can do about it.

The nightmare fades away and I welcome the blackness. The blackness changes and I prepare myself for another horror. Instead it is a welcome sight, Lissa is sitting on a throne, her stomach round and Christian at her side, I stand at the wall, watching on. When suddenly a little boy and little girl run in, I can't tell much, but somewhere in my I know one of them is mine. They run to Lissa and she smiles at them, she picks up the little boy and Christian picks up the little girl and she is turned around and sees me. Her hair is long and matches mine in shade, but her eyes are the exact copy of her father's.

"Mama!" She yells and tries to get out of Christians arms, but he doesn't relent. As she thrashes around her eyes fixate on something else. "Dada!" She screams, and for the first time I notice that Dimitri is here as well. I look to him, and although he looks haunted, he smiles at her. Before my daughter can reach my however, the blackness takes over and the scene changes, this time we are in a hospital room.

My child, who is now a little boy, who is the exact copy of his father, is being held down and needles are getting stuck in him left, right and centre, he is bawling his eyes out and there is nothing I can do. My eyes are just watching him, but as my eyes adjust I take in the rest of the room, those holding him down are the people that I trust most, Eddie and my mother, while Lissa and Adrian sticking the needles in.

"Stop!" I scream, but no one pays attention, until out of nowhere Dimitri, steps out from the Corner.

"No, Roza, he is not normal, he is an abomination!" He seethes with anger, there is no love in his eyes for our child. I can't contain my tears and as the emotions take over blackness overwhelms me yet again. This time it stays black. I can feel my body shaking and I'm not sure if its because I'm cold and I'm shivering, if I'm crying or if someone is trying to wake me. Either way the darkness keeps me under, there is nothing I can do to protect myself or my child. I'm not sure if its minutes, seconds, hours, or days, but the darkness disappears and I am taken to the horrible white room and the nightmares happen again.

Just when I think it's over a new dream takes over, it's bad though. I am lying on the the ground, not moving. My arms is bent above my head, blood is spilling from my wrist, my body is bent in an unnatural shape. There is a cut to my forehead and my eyes are glazed over. My stomach is flat. As I watch myself I take in my surroundings and realize I am in my room, the pills that I tried to take are spilled over the bed, my room is a mess, and I get the strong sense of copper filling my nose. The dream never changes and I stand there watching my body, and unlike in reality where Lissa and Alberta come to my rescue, no one comes; no Adrian, no Christian, no Eddie, no one, the picture slowly morphs and there is a coffin, lying in the church with the lid open. I don't need to look in it to know its me. As I take in the the church there is no one there, my feet move and I am taken outside, where Lissa, Adrian, Christian and Eddie are sitting drinking. I walk closer and hear them talking.

"Thank god she's gone! She was such a whiner!" Lissa complains, everyone nods in agreement.

"Yeah, she was such a tease," Adrian moans.

"She got what she deserved!" Christian says happily.

"I don't know why we were ever friends with her!" Eddie states and everyone nods in agreement.

"To be honest, I don't think we were ever friends with her, I think we just felt sorry for her!" Lissa shouts happily. They sit there laughing happily at my demise. I feel my body shake with unhappiness. The tears flow and I scream. The feeling deep down tell me that this is not real, but I am unable to shake the reality of it.

The horror before me morphs into something new once again. We are sitting round a table- Lissa, Christian, Eddie, Mia, Adrian, some blonde chick, Dimitri and myself- we are laughing and happy, we look over to another table and there are ten others, two with blonde hair and the Ozera blue eyes, one with black hair and the Dragomir green eyes. Two with the Ivashkov green eyes and blonde hair. Three who are identical in every which way to Eddie it's unmistakable at they are his. Leaving two both with dark chocolate black hair, almond colored skin and great brown orbs matching their father. We look over at the kids with adoration and love, all of them laughing with each other. But like usual the dream transforms and all the Moroi are dead, covered in blood; only the graduated guardians remain, which is three of us. I am taken under once again, and like a movie all the scenes I've seen replay in my head and I am forced to watch my worst fears happen over and over again.

**3 days later**

Somehow I think physical torture would be better then this, this mental torture. It's been so long, I don't know how long I've been like this. But I can finally feel my body wake up. I am dragged out of the darkness, the first sense to appear is my hearing. I can hear steady breathing, and off in the distance people talking. But the closest sound is the constant beeping of a machine.

"Rosemarie" an agitated voice says. "Wake up damn it!" He screams. I lay still, not wanting to indicate I am alive.  
Time lapses, and eventually I hear the body of the voice, thump away and a door open and slam close, sending a resonating banging sound through the room, leaving my shake. I quickly realize I am on a mattress or something else as it is soft, I can however feel my arm cuffed to something. I slowly open in my eyes, allowing time for them to adjust to the darkness. Deep in the pit of my stomach dread fills me, where am I? I lie pondering what happened, until it hits me with full force. I was knocked unconscious.

A see a movement out of the corner of my eye, and notice I am not alone. There is a another cot like bed and in it, I look closely and see my six foot seven Russian God. An overwhelming sense of happiness, love, but mostly horror and worry fill me. We are both stuck with no escape, because as I look round the room is just like the one in my nightmares, no door, and no windows, the only difference is the room is black.

"Comrade?" I whisper, his once closed eyes snap open and he looks at me. His face creases with worry, yet confusion. His eyes say it all, the once bright brown eyes of his that I love, are filled with confusion.

"Roza?" He whispers as a question a while later, there is no certainty in his voice, and I realize that he doesn't know who I am. I feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

**Dimitri**

"Comrade?" I hear a name that sounds oddly familiar, yet I don't know why. My eyes automatically open and look at the girl in the bed across from mine, she looks so young, so vulnerable. But she has this look of determination on her. I can feel myself look at her confused, she obviously knows me, her face says it all. I continue to watch her, I watch as her expression changes to that of fear, sadness and disappear. Out of know where images of red roses flood my mind, and the name Roza vibrates through my mind.

"Roza?" I question, quietly and confused, I try putting up my guardian mask, but fail miserably. Her presence is doing something to me. I watch as she blinks and when her eyes open again, they are blood shot and her tears glisten as they fall down her beautiful face. We continue to stare at each other, as I do I try with all my might to remember who she is. I get images of a medieval like castle, lots of teenagers, including her. My last image is of a generic looking gym, I am dressed in work out clothes, as is the girl, a sports bra, and the shortest shorts I have ever seen, her hair is long and beautiful. We stop sparring and then...

**End of chapter 14! What did you think? Well let me know and if I Get to sixty- sixty five reviews in the next 7 hours I will upload chapter 15! C'mon guys I knw you want to find out what Dimitri sees. Have a good day or night xx**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx**


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Rose**

The feeling of loneliness takes over as I watch Dimitri internalizes who I am. I watch him endlessly. After a while he closes his eyes and I look away. I feel so betrayed, just like the day he said love fades mine has. Maybe everyone has been lying to me just so I would rescue him and return him to them. I look around and take in more of the dark, cold room I am trapped in. I am connected to an IV machine and a heart monitor. I guess my captors didn't want me to die. The same arm that is connected to the machine is handcuffed to the bed I am Lying in. My other arm, rests protectively on my belly. I am lying in a fetal position facing Dimitri, I can't even look at him without crying right now. I feel sick, and I'm sure it's not the baby's doing, in which case there are a lot of strigoi lingering close by. As my breathing becomes accelerated and the heart monitor speeds up, I take deep breaths to try and control my breathing down, as I do this I feel a cold thing on my neck and I remember the necklace my old man gave me. What I don't understand is, however, why we are still here if he put a tracker in it, maybe he is just like everyone else and is working against me.

I look over to Dimitri, he is watching me again. I cautiously watch him. He looks empty, the light in his eyes is gone, and as I watch him, I realize his eyes are slightly glazed, and have that confused look about them. I realize quickly he has been compelled.

"_Oh, oh, oh_

_No matter what you say about love  
I keep coming back for more  
Keep my hand in the fire  
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for_

_No matter what you say about life  
I learn every time I bleed  
That truth is a stranger  
Soul is in danger, I gotta let my spirit be free_

_To admit that I'm wrong  
And then change my mind  
Sorry but I have to move on  
And leave you behind_

_I can't waste time so give it a moment  
I realize, nothing's broken  
No need to worry 'bout everything I've done  
Live every second like it was my last one  
Don't look back at a new direction  
I loved you once, needed protection  
You're still a part of everything I do  
You're on my heart just like a tattoo_

_(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you  
I'll always have you, I'll always have you)_

_I'm sick of playing all of these games  
It's not about taking sides  
When I looked in the mirror, didn't deliver  
It hurt enough to think that I could_

_Stop, admit that I'm wrong  
And then change my mind  
Sorry but I gotta be strong  
And leave you behind_

_(Just like a tattoo, I'll always have you  
I'll always have you)_

_If I live every moment  
Won't change any moment  
Still a part of me and you  
I will never regret you  
Still the memory of you  
Marks everything i do_

_Just like a tattoo  
I'll always have you"_

I finish the song and look down, not knowing what had overcome me and given me the urge to sing. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I know right, Rose Hathaway embarrassed? Laughable right? Well apart from the other week, no one has ever really heard me sing.

After what feels forever I look up, he is watching me, only this time his eyes are soft, and a little of that light has returned.

"Comrade?" I whisper, he gets a wicked grin on his face and looks at me lovingly yet sad. He does t say anything but I know he knows who I am, well at least I hope he does. The tears that had momentarily stopped, fall again only this time they are happy tears.

**~~~~Dimitri~~~~**

The images i have been seeing cut off and as i listen and watch her sing, after the first few notes, my mind is again thrust into a world of more images. I remember it all. Going to Portland, standing up for her, the spell, falling for her and desperately trying to hide my feelings for my student. The night where the darkness, drove her insane, that night, the cabin and us. The fight and the rescue, the rescue where she almost got herself killed, saving me. Her not waking up, then me leaving. The last two images I see are of Christian yelling at me in his aunts house, me leaving and sitting with my babushka, I don't remember however what she told me. I look over at my love, so vulnerable, sad, desperate, yet glowing.

I look at her and smile, how could I have ever forget my Roza?

"Roza?" I whisper, she looks up, her face blotchy and red from crying, but she smiles and I am reminded how beautiful she is.

**~~~~~~~Rose~~~~~~~**

He says my name and it is like a breath of fresh air. I feel myself smile, I mean really smile for the first time in ages. He remembers me! The last few hours have been hell. I move my hand and reach for his, but the gap is to big, even with his overly long arms. As we try to reach each other we are interrupted.

"At least, you are awake," the mans voice says. I look up and I am meet with the crimson eyes of the evil dead. From what I can see of his features he looks oddly familiar.

"What do you want with her Ivan?" Dimitri seethes, the light from his eyes glad was present just Moments ago is gone.

The man- I guess Ivan's demour changes as his gaze flicks to Dimitri, he relaxes slightly and his eyes soften, well as much as a strigois eyes can.

"Why Dimka" he questions, Dimitri tenses and I'm not sure if its because of the name or because of the question.

I watch the two, engage in a conversation, not with words however.

"Please, just uncuff me, you can stand right there, I just want to..." Dimitri, pleads speaking for the first time in ages.

"NO!" Ivan roars, cutting him off. They then proceed to engage in an eye war. I fall asleep,in the silently tense room.  
I wake up to someone breathing on me. I tense and open my eyes, what lays before me, is not what I expected. My Russian god only inches from my grasp. It seems at while I have been asleep the room was rearranged and although we are in separate breaths he is closer and within reach. His brown orbs are watching me, this time though they are filled with anger and confusion. But he didn't speak, I opened my mouth, but he gave me a look to say shut up. So I did. We lay there watching each other for what felt hours, neither speaking, after all we have been through I thought we deserved a little peace, even if we are stuck in this hell hole. I lay there pondering what had caused his confusion now.

**End of chapter 15! Well thanks guys! It was so nice to wake up to email notifications saying that you had reviewed! Here is that chapter I promised :) I hope you enjoyed it. Now, if you want to know why a certain Russian is confused, I need to get to 75-80 reviews, that's only like 10-15, c'mon guys make my day and ill update faster xx**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx**


	17. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Rose**

I don't know how long we stared at each other, but as I watched him, silent tears fell down both of our faces. Having not seen him for almost four months, then to see him and for him to not know me, and now him not speaking to me, was wrecking me.

"Damn it, why won't you talking to me?" I scream after awhile.

His big brown eyes look at me, but I avert my eyes, knowing if I looked at him I would be lost within them.

"How could you?" He asks, it's barely audible. I look at him, confused. What does he mean how could I? I wasn't the one who left. It's not like he struggled after he left. No, I almost killed myself because of this man.

"What!?" I retorted. Being chained to the bed there wasn't much I could do.

"I loved you so I left and, and you..." He doesn't finish, because the darkness overwhelms me and I slap him, hard and fast.

"You, what, you think I went and shacked up with someone else?" I scream and he simply nods, the tears falling fast down his face. I look down at my just noticeable bump, close my eyes and allow the tears to fall fast and furious.  
"DIMITRI BELIKOV, you better no be insinuating that I am a cheap whore!" I scream.

"What... What...more do you expect me to think? Your pregnant." He stutters, closing his eyes in the process.

"You listen here, there has only ever been one person who I have let in that way. There is only one person who I can stand to touch me, and that person is lying opposite me. Believe me or not, I was just shocked as you, especially when I almost killed the both of us." I cry, unable to look at him anymore, I turn as much as possible away from him.

_"We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain  
We jumped, never asking why  
We kissed, I fell under your spell  
A love no one could deny_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you  
I can't live a lie, running for my life  
I will always want you_

_I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was break me  
Yeah you, you wreck me_

_I put you high up in the sky  
And now, you're not coming down  
It slowly turned, you let me burn  
And now, we're ashes on the ground_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you  
I can't live a lie, running for my life  
I will always want you_

_I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was break me  
I came in like a wrecking ball  
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung  
Left me crashing in a blazing fall  
All you ever did was break me  
Yeah you, you wreck me_

_I never meant to start a war  
I just wanted you to let me in  
And instead of using force  
I guess I should've let you win  
I never meant to start a war  
I just wanted you to let me in  
I guess I should've let you win_

_Don't you ever say I just walked away  
I will always want you_

_I came in like a wrecking ball  
I never hit so hard in love  
All I wanted was to break your walls  
All you ever did was break me  
I came in like a wrecking ball  
Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung  
Left me crashing in a blazing fall  
All you ever did was break me  
Yeah you, you wreck me  
Yeah you, you wreck me"_

I sing the song quietly, lying away from him. The accusation, was hard. I lay there crying, I was sure it was more to do with the hormones then being upset with him.

"Roza" he says softly. I want to turn to him, but I don't, he doesn't deserve it. The tears free falling create a wet patch on the pillow and I want to scream.  
"Rose...please..." He says quietly. I lay there for a while, I was not going to give him any satisfaction. After a while I turn around at him, giving him the worst killer look, and trust me if looks could kill, it would have killed him.

"What do you want?" I seethe with anger. He looks sorrowful.

"What do expect me to think, I've been in this place for eight weeks, and then three and lad almost four days ago you were carried in here. But I didn't remember you. And now this." He cries. I want so much to be angry at him. But I can't. He looks away from me, his control completely gone, he is broken.

"Calm down and please look at me. Eight and half weeks ago, I was in a very dark place. You see after you left I felt as if my soul was missing, I was broken and I did things at I thought I could never do to myself. I cut myself and I tried taking pills. I wanted the pain gone so I thought if I killed myself it would. But I was saved and when I woke up, after blood tests were done they discovered this. However at the time, you were at Tasha's, so was Christian. Next thing I know Christian is back. I wanted so very much not tell you. You were gone, then at there graduation party, Tasha comes in screaming that you're missing. Our miracle was threatened and I acted. Days later we came here, and my father took me to your mothers. That was I guess eleven or so days ago. I don't claim to know everything, and it saddens me that you don't remember me, the worst part is I was resolved to tell you, I didn't want to keep you from this. I looked for you at graduation and whether is was a conscious thing or not I don't know. The guardian I had to take down as part of my trials reminded me so deeply of you, that it was then I guess I realized you needed to know and even if you no longer truly loved me, I could have accepted it, our child means that much to me, because either way I will always have a part of you." I say sobbing, damn hormones, rose Hathaway doesn't cry this much!

He watches me, I can feel it even though I can't see it through the tears.

"Oh Rose, I am so sorry. That day I left, I never wanted you to hurt. Walking out of those gates was one of the hardest things I have ever done. My decision was purely selfish, I couldn't stand to see you hurt and in pain because of me, but I guess that seriously backfired. If I had not known what I know now, I would never have left. It must have been difficult finding this out, and ill never forgive myself for the things I've done in the last four months. It destroyed leaving you, that day Christian was there, I had gone out for a walk and I had decided I had to go back. Then Christian said things and I couldn't, I don't ow of he told you, but he made it sound as if you were dead, and there as no way I could ha be gone back to the academy if you were dead, seeing everyone, especially when it was my fault. S I left, I came to Russia and I was barely here for few days, when I went for a walk for so,e reason and then I was here. There is so much that I don't remember,I do not remember what happened prior for going on that walk. Then I forgot all these things about you, things I had promised myself I would never forget, like your eyes, your hair, your smile, your fruity smell. It wasn't till you sung that something clicked in me. I think I was compelled. I'm so stupid and because of it I am so sorry." He says.

We lay there facing each other completely silent for the longest of times. I feel so completely broken. How'd we end up this way? Speaking of where the guck is my father!?

**End of chapter 16! Thanks guys for the reviews! Lets see if we can make it to 100? Hundred reviews and maybe they will get rescued? Sorry if its so short, I needed this chapter, it's important for both of them to realize the struggles they face when apart. Xx anyways have a good night or day :) and remember Review.**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s everything but the plot is owned by the talented Richelle Mead! Xx**


	18. Chapter 17

**JAR OF HEARTS**

**~~*~~*~~~Chapter 17~~~*~~*~~**

_Rose_

The door being wrenched open and shut interrupted our thoughts. I didn't realize when I first woke up that there was a door in this place, but then again there is no handle on this side of it so that kind of explains it. I look up and see and evil looking women, not because of red eyes, but because she just looks coherently evil.

"Rosemarie, I've been waiting for you." She says, with a heavy accent despite the pitch being high. Dimitri looks to her, and recognition flashes through his eyes.

"What do you want bitch?" I retort, reverting to my normal Rose behaviour. She laughs, but it is more like a cackle.

"Rosemarie, when will you ever learn?" She hisses. I just stare at her ugly face.

"I never do, now tell me what the fuck you want!" I say agitated, it's like she's a predatory about to kill her prey, I guess in reality that's what I am.

"I want your little abomination. You see I want a play toy, and I think this me will be perfect." She says purring, her words frighten me, but I keep calm, cool and collect, just as any guardian under pressure should.

"Like hell" I scream, this seems to wake something within Dimitri and he looks at the bitch, the anger radiating off him like steam.

"You will not touch either of them Galina! You will not have them, I use to trust you, so what the fuck?" His anger under toning his voice. I look between the two, remembering that he had once told me about his teacher called Galina, now she was strigoi.

"Ahhh, Dimka, I was wandering when you would remember me." She says smiling. As she does she walks over to me and there is nothing I can do. She rests her spidery finger hands on my belly and strokes it adoringly. "Don't you understand, I want a child, and I want this one, its not like it will be accepted anyway, seeing how its parents are both dhampirs?" She whispers, there is a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Galina, if you wanted a child so much, why'd you turn?" I whisper, trying to keep my voice steady, though I was freaking the hell out.

"You think I wanted this? You think I want to hurt you, your baby, my Dimka? No, I am merely a puppet, ruled by the puppeteer." She says quietly, before her face converts back to the look of pure evil. "Now, I want you both to be good little dhampirs..." Her voice is cut off by a high pitched whistle sound, it hurts my ears, but with her heightened hearing it is probably mind splitting for the strigoi. She holds her head in her hands and leaves the room desperately.

I look to Dimitri, his guardian mask in place as he fights the sound. I reach to my necklace, thinking about my father and why he hasn't come to rescue us.

_Abe_

It's been four days since Rose went missing, my guardians found the car in town and then as they scourged nearby, they found Roses stake in an alley way. There has been no signal on the necklace, and I'm worried hat she not just missing.

"Sir! Come quickly!" One of my men yells. Sitting in the kitchen with Christian, Tasha and Eddie, I have learnt a lot about my daughter. Things that very few people would know. Everyone looks startled, Christian looks worst excited, as does Edison, however Natasha looks almost worried. I shrug it off and excuse myself from the table and follow my man. Ending up in the office, on the giant projector screen, on the screen is a giant map; within the giant map is a flashing red rose symbol. Finally, the locator is working, now to get my daughter back.

_The puppeteer_

I have wanted a child for so long, finally I will get one, as long as my strigoi puppets continue to do my bidding.

**End of chapter 17, so who is confused yet? Mwhahaha, can I get 5 reviews, or shall Dimitri and Rose be stuck, and there baby, well who knows, the puppeteer seems to want it. Have a good day xx or night xx**

**I got a new computer, so the formatting and spelling and grammar should improve **

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s the talented Richelle Mead owns everything but the plot! Xx**

**P.s there will be another chapter shortly; this was just an establishing chapter **


	19. Chapter 18

**JAR OF HEARTS**

**~~*~~*~~~Chapter 18~~~*~~*~~**

_Rose_

The time is endless, ever since the sound that vibrated through the entire place, Dimitri and I have been left alone, sure we get our three meals a day, but that's it. We haven't seen Ivan or Galina since then. I endless play with my necklace wondering where my father is; he said it would track me. Dimitri and I don't do much talking, he just watches me, like a good guardian watches an entire perimeter. I felt something strange happen in my stomach a little while ago. It was a flutter of sorts, I didn't panic, well I did but I kept it inside, while my exterior showed me in to be calm.

"Roza?" Dmitri asks at long last, I open my eyes and look at him.

"Yes?" I reply, not snarkily or kindly, more mono-toned.

"We need to get out of here, by my calculation, no one has come to taunt us for a week. You need to see a Doctor." He says, I held my breath the entire time; I waited for him to say something caring, but nothing.

I watched him and then curled up as the tears unleashed themselves down my face. I felt the flutter in my stomach and placed my hand protectively on it, that was when I felt the most amazing thing ever, my baby was kicking, its foot would press up right into my hand, as if to say _don't forget about me. _ I can't wait to get out of here, to go see a Doctor and find out what I'm having. If what Dimitri is saying then I should be almost four and half months pregnant.

I lay there crying, holding my belly as my baby kicks, knowing full well that I should tell Dimitri, but I don't, these past few days I guess he hasn't been very nice. My worst fear feels as if it is coming to play and the goddess within me is laughing and saying _told you so, told you he wouldn't believe you, you skank, he's going to leave you, leave you and your bastard. _I know now I am going insane as my sub-conscious is talking back to me, but its how I feel. I've tried getting into Lissa's head but something is blocking it, and I'm sure Adrian would have tried to dream walk me, but that hasn't happened either. I look up and look into Dimitri's brown orbs, instead of being hard, cold and unkind, they are soft, melt your heart chocolate brown.

"Comrade…." I trail off quietly. He cocks his head and looks at me.

"What's wrong Roza?" he says kindly.

"You, you believe me right?" I whisper, I know he hears me, because his face turns to complete confusion. "You believe me about the baby, right?" I say as I begin to fiddle with the itchy cotton sheets.

"Of course I do, what has given you the impression that I don't. I just want us to get out of here." He says quietly, reaching out to touch me, his long arms just reach. I can tell he is hiding something.

I sniff a few times before I am able to compose myself. "Then why do you just watch me? You don't say anything, you just watch and keep quiet like I'm your charge or something." I say and the hormonal bitch unleashes herself as the sobs come out shuddering my entire being. If he says anything I don't hear it.

_Dimitri_

I watch as Rose lays crying, and as like the last few days I am helpless to do anything. The fact that she is here is hard enough I should be doing more to get the both of them out of here, but I cant even do those. I watch her because I need to know, even though we are here, she is ok. I am useless, as a guardian, as a son, as a brother, and I'll probably be a useless father as well. Watching her is the most I can do.

_Rose_

My body stops shaking after a while and I am left wondering why Dimitri doesn't say anything. He must really hate me or something? I am left wondering this when I hear a loud bang. I look to Dimitri and he is in high alert. A while later there is a loud scream, then another. I sit quietly, listening to anything I could. As I take in the room, I look to Dimitri once again, only this time he isn't in the bed, some how he has gotten out of the cuff that was keeping him to the bed; he is now standing by the door, he listens for a moment, then strides over to me. He looks at me in the eyes, and gets the cuff off, I look down to see him hold a knife, I look at him questioningly.

"Ivan" he mouths. I don't know why he isn't speaking but I can see a hint of happiness in his face, his brown orbs lightened, the way love.

I get out of the bed and pounce on him, giving him the biggest hug in the world, having been already four or more months, being close to him has plagued, what sleep I have had since being here. He hugs be back and I can feel it as he puts his head on mine and sniffs, which for most people would be kind of weird, but for us its not. We stand there for a minute or two just holding each other. Slowly we untangle each other, but he entwines our hands and we go to stand over by the door. Neither of us has spoken since the screaming.

"They, will come looking for us, We have to be ready for this, when the door opens, I want you to stay out of the way, then when an opening is there run." He says, he is about to say more, but I don't let him.

"No, we stay together. I did not risk myself, and our child for you to try and be a hero. No we are doing this together." I say, putting my foot down, he is thoughtful for a moment then nods. We stand waiting for a while, then the door opens, it was decided I would stand to the right of the door and Dimitri to the left, and so when it opened I pounced. Luckily my belly wasn't too big otherwise I would have been completely off balance and unable to perform the task. The strigoi is unprepared for our attack and we take, him and his two friends down easily. We escape down the hallway, not totally sure where we are going.

We get maybe two hundred metres, when we approach three doors, we stop and listen, nothing, but I can feel the nausea that accompanies me when any strigoi are near, and I know there must be a few because it is really bad.

We open the door and see strigoi but it is not what I was expecting, no not at all.

**Well that's Chapter 18, what do you think? I think its time for Rose and Dimitri to get saved, don't you? Well lets see if you agree, lets get to 120 reviews, and I'm sure I can get that stupid tracking device to work on Rose's necklace, what do you think? Well let me know, and Rose and Dimitri may get saved before Wednesday. **

**Sorry if its super short… Uni is busy at the moment, I have loads to do, but id rather write fanfic :/ **

**Have a good Day/ Night**

**P.s I have a Question, once Rose and Dimitri are saved and a few months happen, do you want a sequel or a brand new story?**

**Let me know…. I have an idea for a sequel… but I also have ideas for a new story…**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s the talented Richelle Mead owns everything but the plot! Xx**


	20. Chapter 19

**JAR OF HEARTS**

**~~*~~*~~~Chapter 19~~~*~~*~~**

_Rose_

As we step through the door, it was not a sight I was expecting; Ivan is fighting Galina, and he's winning. I look to Dimitri, whose hand is now back, resting in mine. For now it will stay there but as soon as we escape, well you'll see.

The other strigoi notice our entrance and come at us, Dimitri releases my hand and stands in front of me protectively. Our own fight begins and we are fighting not only for our lives- that is Dimitri, our child's and I, but also for our freedom.

A strigoi slips through Dimitri and pounces on me. I attack back and we get into a dance of sorts. I continually punch and kick him. We are like this for a while, thankfully I am not ginormous and I am able to send a roundhouse kick to the chest. The strigoi staggers, but I know he is not dead; however I carry on. This occurs until Dimitri and I have gone through at least twenty strigoi, who are incapacitated.

As we stand there watching the strigoi stagger round trying to get their balance back, we hear a loud bang and the entire room goes up in flames, except for a small circle about the size of a hoop around us. I look to Dimitri dumbstruck, what the hell? Then moments later, I see the reason for all the charred strigoi; except somehow, Ivan and Galina.

Standing not twenty feet from me are all those I care about even my mother.

I look at them with a handful of emotions: Anger, confusion, happiness, the list is endless. I watch as Eddie runs at Galina and stabs her in the heart from the back. i stand watching and it is like slow motion, as my mother takes down Ivan. Moments later we are all standing around, having been attacked by Lissa, my mother, Alberta, my father and even Christian we are waiting. I feel sorry in away for Dimitri because he was brutally slapped by my father, Eddie, Christian, Adrian, and my mother. But to be honest the worse one was the one Alberta gave him, whilst the others had also spoken their feelings, she gave him a quality guardian slap and punch to the gut she hadn't spoken and for the last few moments the have been locked in a silent eye battle. Neither has spoken.

As we wait for some people my father has rung, we wait silently. I stand watching the battle between Dimitri and Alberta. My exterior would show me calm and at ease while in reality I am having my own battle; one of emotions.

The song impossible coming to mind. I silently sing the song in my head a few of the words sticking.

**You were strong and I was not**

**My illusion, my mistake**

**I was careless, I forgot**

**I did**

**Tell them I was happy**

**And my heart is broken**

**All my scars are open**

**Tell them what I hoped would be**

**Impossible, impossible**

**Falling out of love is hard**

**Falling for betrayal is worst**

**Broken trust and broken hearts**

**I know, I know.**

The song reminding me of everything that has happened in the last four and a bit months. He left, no real reason why. Breaking my heart in the process. He destroyed me and I cannot and will not let him back in that easily. Yes this is his child and I will not stop him from being apart of its life; however I will not let him back into my life that easily those words he said are stained on my heart forever.

As I watch the people I love talk and fight as we wait I compose a song in my head

"_**You said you loved me**_

_**One day I dreamed about something bad**_

_**And you said you didn't care about me anymore**_

_**You said I cant love you**_

_**I wont love you**_

_**I don't love you**_

_**I can forgive the words but not the heart break, oh no**_

_**You see you used me,**_

_**Made feel cheap**_

_**You lied**_

_**You said you loved me**_

_**Then you said you didn't.**_

_**Those words broke my heart**_

_**And Love fades, mine has,**_

_**Will forever be stained on my heart.**_

_**I loved you, you loved me**_

_**Then one day I dreamed about something bad**_

_**I could not hide, I needed you,**_

_**But you said you didnt care**_

_**You said I don't love you anymore,**_

_**You said I wont, I can't, I don't**_

_**But now your back,**_

_**How can I forgive and forget?**_

_**I know ill try but**_

_**Those words will forever be stained on my heart.**_

_**I can forgive the words but not the heart break, oh no**_

_**You see you used me,**_

_**Made feel cheap**_

_**You lied**_

_**I loved you, you loved me**_

_**Then one day I dreamed about something bad**_

_**I could not hide, I needed you,**_

_**But you said you didn't care**_

_**You said I don't love you anymore,**_

_**You said I wont, I can't, I don't**_

_**But maybe one day ill forgive and forget…**_

Everything that had happened in the last few months was because of him. I had been here for god knows how long because he wanted to protect me. I was a walking science experiment because I am a pregnant dhampir carrying another dhampir's baby. As I stand waiting, my vision clouds with blackness, whether it is spirit or total exhaustion the blackness takes over and I am out for the count. I feel myself falling and it feels endless, but I slowly hit the ground, obviously alerting everyone as the resounding footsteps echo through the room, which is the last thing I hear.

**Hey guys, well there is chapter 19, they are finally rescued, well kind of. I'm sorry it is so short, I am a bit uninspired at the moment. The song I mentioned that Rose makes up, is made up, so come up with your own tune to it I guess. Again I apologise for the shortness of this chapter and that I promised it earlier but I did not deliver. I would have uploaded earlier however I spent last night in A&E taking care of my mum, she is all good now thankfully. **

…**ANYWAY…**

**Have a good Day/ Night**

**I have an idea for a sequel… but I also have ideas for a new story… **

**Which would you guys prefer?**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s the talented Richelle Mead owns everything but the plot! Xx**


	21. Chapter 20

**JAR OF HEARTS**

**~~*~~*~~~Chapter 20~~~*~~*~~**

_Rose_

The darkness is overwhelming. Its like when I was knocked unconscious, vivid images flash through my head; only this time its between Dimitri and I, he doesn't love me, doesn't trust me, doesn't believe me. He is only around because his mother has forced him. The image changes and I'm on the floor soaked in blood as he rocks something and coos to it, while a female and male are in the background laughing menacingly. The image changes again and the two of us are sitting on a couch cuddling, holding something wrapped up. As the image fades out, a new image replaces it; Dimitri is stabbing me and an unspecified female is holding my child, my child with big brown eyes to match her father, and dark brown/red/black hair to match mine. As I die on the floor, Dimitri leaves and goes to kiss the women, the women who I don't recognize. As I fade into unconsciousness the images change once again, and Dimitri is chasing me as our son looks at us giggling, he wraps his arm around me and kisses me passionately. Images such as these continue to flash through my eyes.

"Rose?" I hear a sweet female voice yell.

"Kiz?" I hear my father yell.

"Rose?" lots of voices say. The voice that is daunting me, that has daunted me for four months.

"Roza?" he screams thick with his Russian accent. My body remains still as my mind listens to the voices calling for me.

A while later I hear a high pitched scream, it brings me out of unconscious and it takes a few moments for me to realize its me. My eyes open and I am met eight pairs of worried eyes, seven I recognize, and the other I don't.

The people my father rang, are exactly that, people as in humans. However, these people are different they are alchemists. Technically there is only one, Sydney; she has blonde hair and is very pretty. The thing about her appearance though, is the golden lily flower tattoo on her check, inconspicuous to the untrained eye.

I have been sitting off in the corner, thinking about everything since I blacked out. The images, torturing me. I know they are trying to tell me something, but I can't work it out. I love Dimitri but he left and I guess he will leave whenever anything gets tough. Maybe ill make it easier for all of them. I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall as Sydney undertakes her alchemist business.

I hear a door slam and then an evil cackle, I open my eyes in surprise and see them man and women from my dream, Someone very close in resemblance to Dimitri and his sisters, dark brown melt where you are standing eyes and matching brown hair; The women I don't recognize at all, she has flaming red hair and matching emerald eyes, the eyes remind me of Adrian. I can tell they are both moroi.

"Hmmm, what do we have here?" the woman says excitedly. Dimitri growls, as does my mother. I like everyone else stare at them in wonder.

"Son, why don't you introduce me?" the man says, looking pointedly at Dimitri. I gasp in horror as I realize the man standing before me is Dimitri's father. He spins around to look at me, but Dimitri intercepts him.

"That's not very nice son," his father seethes, the woman laughs hysterically and spins to look at my mother.

"Yeah Aunt Janie, why don't you introduce your favourite niece." The red headed women says, still laughing. Wait I have a cousin? I thought my mother was an only child? I have family?

My mother growls and goes to attack, but my father holds her back.

"Well if you wont, ill just have to do it myself." The woman says, the laughing ceasing.

"My name is Eloise Hathaway, my father and your mother are related*," she says staring at me. "And this is Grigorii Dashkov**, Dimitri's father, but you know that already don't you Rose?" She says hysterically, I really want to punch he women, family or not. I stand up and shuffle past the barricade of Dimitri and my mother.

"What do you want?" I ask calmly. Hoping to prevent anything bad from happening; knowing my luck however I know this will not be the case. The both look at me in wonder.

"Why cousin, I want you." The woman, Eloise says before she attacks. I am knocked to the floor and a fully-fledged fight begins. Grigorii attacks Dimitri and he attacks back, the other moroi get involved. I watch as everyone fights, bar Christian who is protecting Lissa and Adrian, though no one seems to be going to them anyway.

I turn my concentration back to Eloise and I am able to get in a few good punches and kicks, luckily she is only moroi and is adapt at fighting a guardian, so she tires eventually. I punch her one last time in the jaw and she crashes to the ground with a resounding thud. Everyone stops and looks at the two of us.

"Noooooo!" Grigorii yells, running to the girl on the floor. I kick her one last time and get my advantage on Grigorii, but just as I am about to attack him he turns around slaps me, hard. I fly though the air and land on a pile of cardboard boxes, still falling to the ground. Panic over takes me for my child. I try to move, but everything hurts. Slowly I am able to move my hand to my belly, but I feel nothing. The flutter I felt just hours ago, is gone and I feel the warm tears fall silently down my cheek. What have I done? Have I just killed my baby?

_Dimitri_

I watch as Rose flies through the air and then as she lands, a loud crack resonating through the room. Everyone runs to her side, leaving the asshole to me. As he tends over the flaming red headed women, I see similarities between her and Rose, not much, but its still there. As the man who looks so much like me, tends to this women I pounce on him unsuspectingly and he collapses under my weight. I don't kill him, I wish I could. I tried when I was thirteen and I would have been successful if it was not for Abe Mazur, then again I wouldn't have meet my Roza, because killing a Royal Moroi is a criminal offence, even if it is self defence. I only wish I had killed him then. I find some rope and tie his arms behind his back. I finish my kicking him in the stomach and tying him to a pole, I'm pretty sure his element is fire, so I hope this will stop him from burning through the rope. Then I run to my Roza, but she is not moving. Her eyes are closed, but I see the tears run down her face as she holds her swollen abdomen tenderly. Oh crap the baby!

**Hey guys there is chapter 20, I know its bad, but I did it in a rush **** I have work now, maybe if I can get to 140-150 reviews by Tuesday (my Wednesday) ill post again…. Then again if I don't something tragic my happen to a certain baby ;) **

**Mwhahaha **

…**ANYWAY…**

*** I'm not sure if its ever mentioned if Janine has family or not, if not oh well, this is fanfic after all…**

**** I searched but it doesn't mention who is father is, if it does and someone knows please let me know, for now he is related to Robert Doru and Victor Dashkov. Seeing how they are evil enough**

**Have a good Day/ Night**

**I have an idea for a sequel… but I also have ideas for a new story… **

**Which would you guys prefer?**

**Xx KiwiKazza-Hale-Belikov xX**

**Please REVIEW, FAVOURITE and FOLLOW. It would make my day! P.s the talented Richelle Mead owns everything but the plot! Xx**


	22. Chapter 21

**JAR OF HEARTS**

**~~*~~*~~~Chapter 20~~~*~~*~~**

_Rose_

The darkness that has continually plagued me for the last little while; is getting rather old. These images that run over and over through my mind are blatantly playing with me; but no matter how hard I try, they don't stop, they won't stop. What makes it worse is the continuous beeping chorus, the only sounds that I can hear.

_Dimitri_

Watching my Roza lay helpless, is tearing my heart apart. I should never have left, I was stupid, so very stupid. An American song I once heard reminds me of exactly how I am feeling right now.

_I open my eyes, I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light, I cant remember how, I cant remember why, I'm lying here tonight… _

It has been days since Rose blacked out, I don't care about anything else at the time, not even the threat that is my father, I just hope my Roza is okay, I hope our baby is okay, I need to correct my silly mistake. I will fight till the end if I have to.

_**Rose**_

_I'm so tired of being here_

_Suppressed by all my childish fears_

_And if you have to leave_

_I wish that you would just leave_

_'Cause your presence still lingers here_

_And it won't leave me alone_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

_You used to captivate me by your resonating light_

_Now I'm bound by the life you left behind_

_Your face – it haunts my once pleasant dreams_

_Your voice – it chased away all the sanity in me_

_These wounds won't seem to heal_

_This pain is just too real_

_There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

_...me, me, me…._

The images that swirl through my mind, would make your eyes bug, its like I am watching my life flash before my eyes. I try to close them to rid my memory of the horrid images. Images of me covered in blood, red eyed and standing on top of everyone, my worsts split open to the bone, allowing the crimson liquid that is blood to seep from the wounds, draining me. On my chest lies the child I never thought I wanted but love unconditionally. The room is that of one ripped from a horror story, bright red walls, slowly turning black as the oxygen leaves it and it dries, the floor a red pool and those underneath me, dead. The image unfolding is worst then that of my most recent horrors, and no matter how hard I try I am stuck in this in between contemplating everything that life has served up to me.

**There is chapter 21, I know its not much, but I figured id give you something. I am struggling with uni and stuff at the moment, so im sorry of this is crap. Please review and let me know what you think. As of October 18****th**** the story will be on hiatus until after November 6****th**** 2013, I will try and update before then, but this is a warning.**

**Have a good day or night xx**


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